Don’t we all grow up hearing this cliche from wise people; “you will never be successful in a relationship until you learn to love yourself or understand yourself.”
Yep, we’ve all heard this a million times and until the other day, I thought that I did truly love myself.
But then as I was watching this TEDx video about marriage I discovered that I needed to marry myself.
And I thought; what is this three time married and divorced woman talking about! Marry myself 😐.
Then I took into consideration of how short this speech was and decided to at least give my undivided and nonprejudice attention.
Wow, what a decision that was. I am happy that I took the time to listen to this lady and my conclusion is as follows. 😄
I had to love myself exactly where I was financial, mentally, and spiritually. I thought that since I knew I was beautiful physically and a little bit more than fiscally, then I loved myself.
I was not one of the people to whom this saying was attributed to.
But while watching, I learned that I didn’t love myself unconditionally. For the worst and ugly truth. This part of ourselves we suppress from a very young age.
Through sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, and until death do us apart.
I realized that I loved or found value in myself solely based upon conditions; my aspirations of my future self.
Not for who I was currently, but for who I was striving to become.
And that my friends are not unconditional let alone basic love.
So, while watching this video this lady went on about how she married thrice and left all her husbands because after three to four years she felt unhappy and unsatisfied.
Talk about the horror story to our supposedly happy ever afters.😣
She spent her life looking for someone else to complete her, instead of herself being a whole person and the other person a companion to herself.
We all have been bamboozled, male and females into thinking that we need another person to complete us, or to make us feel loved.
When this is not the case, we have to love ourselves first and then we can love others not just our significant other but everyone we come into contact with.
Now, getting to the point of this post. I made a new declaration and discovery.
Declaration of Independence:
1. From others and now to a dependency to Myself
2. That from this day forward I will love myself wholeheartedly and unconditionally. I will no longer be dependent upon others. Truely indulging in my redefined dependency upon my current self.
3. For better or for worse. Through sickness and in health. For who I am right now and not for who I want to be. Even if I never reach any and I mean any of my dreams and or asperations.
4. I will love myself for myself and not for anyone else. I love myself just for wanting to love myself.
5. I take me myself and I to be my lawfully wedded (partner in life ), to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death does us part.
Our society teaches a false or partial self-love. We have to stop wondering how other people feel about us.
And consider how we feel about them, not the other way around. You are not the center of attention but they or the world is your center of attention.
With this new mindset, we can all reach or maintain that young or old self-awareness. Elders and really young children know this but somewhere in between, we lose this self-dedication.
So here comes the cliche line, Join me in my new found journey to self love.
No, really do join me this will be great and more than worth it, because (in a whispering loud voice) we may end up alone.
Not everyone finds that special someone or has the time. But even those people might not know how to properly love themselves. 🙂