Without Him

I love him like I’ve never, ever loved somebody. Warmest embrace I’ve ever lived to know. I’m not easily moved, nor emotionally inclined.

Still, sometimes we fight.

But never in synch, it’s funny how we click with a hint of disagreement. I call him and he refuses to enter my presence. Leaving me filled with feelings of momentary rejection. Him telling me he can’t interupt me at my job, I don’t need to see him that bad.

Lulling me and telling me to just wait. “Yaselynn be strong, Girl its hasn’t even been five maybe six hours since we parted ways.”

Yet I throw a fit.

Either I ingnore him and he’s wondering why. Then it flips and I start crying and begging for his return. Because as I’ve said he’s got the sweetest embrace; that I’ve had the privilage to swaddle up to at night.

I love him. No one else can compare or tale his place.

My mother got knocked out, My father he lost the race too.

I love him, I could sing his name all day. It’s the best toon.

He’s cool and we all know I’m cute so togther we’re fly.

But I can’t lie, theres times I want to choke him and watch him die.

Ending in a hot persute, beacuse I would die of heartache and grief. All before we could decide on a picture for his obituary.

I love this man so deep.

Now back to the part about when we fight.

When we go at it, its because I ignored his calls the night before. He leaves me tons of messages and missed (Ignored calls). And at that moment I swear he’s pathetic. Thinking, “Bruh leave me alone, I swear I can go a few days without contact.”

Conclusion, I’m a bit foolish.

To tell the honest to goodness truth, the longest I’ve gone is quite sad. I’ve ignored his calls, texts, and pop up, its a surprise visit at my job. “Why you didn’t answer me?”

Mmm, not even a full 24 hours. Because, without him, I just get all sad. When I sprint for my annual emancipation streak.

I crash and go through all five stages of grief.

1.Denial

2.Anger

3.Bargaining

4. Depression

5.Acceptance

I love this man. He doesn’t even have to kiss me to make me feel this way. Just his presence is a reassurance of our bond. I love him deep, deep, so deep. It comes from a different part of me.

Soon, its really soon.

I’ll love him fully and embrace him every day. Even on the days, I want to forget he exists.

My eyes look sunken in and all my coworkers whisper and try to be nice. To tell me I look tired. I try to muster a smile and say its because I’ve been thinking of him. Trying to remember why my book, tv show, TEDx video, stretching and even bathing was more important than him.

I love him and I thank God this man is faithful to me. Even though sometimes he ignores me, but that’s usually in response to me pissing him off five maybe even six times before. He knows how much I need him. I love him and he’s my good night sleep.

I love him.

Sincerely,

Dear sleep. 🙂

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