I have been super inspired these past few days to write about the topic of joy and good conversation within healthy community relationships.
It has been ringing through my mind for over a month and I finally have the words to express it into an Off the Dome Tuesday blog post.
I do believe in Devine timing and signs if we catch them and ride them like a beach wave we can be washed into new understanding and healthier outlooks on life. Because when things go well, we are comforted psychologically through our subconscious fear that the universe, God and other people aren’t against us.
Who has the time to sympathize and insure misunderstandings are properly resolved?
Getting into each other’s business can seem daunting and yet necessary all at the same time.
I love deep conversations about hidden thoughts, and how we overcome them with our better judgement through the channels of advice from loved ones, respected leadership counseling, mentoring programs, or general educational information that we all can receive if we search diligently. Then once we find it, we have to decide to share or hold our new found treasure that we find; have the willing heart to nourish our thoughts that fuel our words during communication.
Truly considering reality, our perceptions, assumptions and implied truths when communicating to others can help us take control of the conversation.
Implied truths and mindfulness create the necessary mild tension that pushes people to think and perceive that they are touching a live wire, within another’s emotions. Calling forth anxiety, for a heightened sense of awareness to controlled the conversations climatic peak.
We all need relaxation, and for me that starts at my home. I love being excited for family dinners, family adventure filled road trips, and also resolving painful misunderstandings.
I personally can attest, to the refreshing feeling I have after a family discussion. When we explain our perceptions of one another and give loving advise on how we think they can grow as an individual for the betterment of their self- love journey. While genuinely incouraging their desired form of expressions ability to blend harmoniously into the family dynamics force.
Listening to Sarah Jakes Robert’s podcast episode about Kirk Franklins son’s outburst, by posting a voice recording of his well respected fathers vulgar language use.
I did not have the opportunity to call in or the idea to leave a comment on her video as I watched the YouTube rerun.
My honest review was that I was compelled to write this blog post even more to reiterate my own personal sentiments on these kinds of family, community Dinamic explosions.
How do we mend broken hearts when they are filled with misunderstandings, bottled up resentment from a broken hearted child’s world perspective?
As parents say, their children will always be their babies, children always feel like their parents babies no matter their age.
I think everyone longs to have a safe, warm home for expressive, well received and reciprocated conversations. Trails, are natural human impulse although we may not go to a court room, we do come before the judge and jury to request judgment.
I believe we have to accept the reality of fighting the urge to publicly roast our friends and family in an underhanded way of bringing up our true complaints.
Prior to giving into the urge to publicly roast an individual we should stop and consider the fuel inside our engines.
Are we speaking to be heard, answered or to punish?
A relationship is always compared to a plant and each person is bread by combining two different species to creat a superior plaint. In order to maintain proper nutrients for steady, timely growth of our plants we have to be willing to do research upon planting, harvest, and pruning season duties.
With impeccable timing the Bible verse of the day for my bible app is Philippians 2:4 “ Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.”
In the podcast Sarah invited a call guest to express their perspective in this situation. Should we do an intercession, send an helicopter or lifeboat to rescue this father and son duo? This family that’s publicly fighting to respect each other’s existence as men.
I wanted to scream this verse in response to the caller that brushed off the sons cry for help from the public world of fellow Christians. Who should have experienced a gut twisting urge to address the lack of basic human dignity exuded during their phone call.
Although we have no knowledge of the behavior that lead to Mr. Kirkland yelling such profane words to his son, demanding that he be shown some respect.
We have to break down each of the petitioners case once they submit their argument to the judge and jury. We all have access to the law but we are also instructed to be of a sober mind at all times so that we don’t forget the law and misjudge one another.
Fathers are called to love their children and children are instructed to honor their father and mother so that our days may be long and joyful on the earth. In Ephesians 6: 1 “ Children, obey your parents in the Lord; for this is right.
“Honor thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with a promise;). And fathers, provoke not your children to wrath; but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.”
Sadly many people are raised putting the cart before the horse. Expecting their children and others to honor their parents without first raising their children in the nurture and perfect admonition of God.
On top of people raising their children with backwards expectations that the respect comes first. Then they wont get angry at their kids if they just start disrespecting them.
Unfortunately our order of operation is not the order of operation in this equation. Fathers and Mothers are older and have the seniority responsibility of leading the way for the children whom they love.
Most Christians from basic to advanced bible readers misunderstand the nurture aspect of God. They grasp that he is a patient loving Father for them, but fail to reflect that same love to their own children during their learning curve of hormonal, physical and mental development.
Parents love to grasp for the scripture in Proverbs 13:24 “ He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him bedtimes.” Used as the perfect scape goat to hit their children to instill an understanding of right and wrong.
Which is wrong, because in the Bible the rod is a metephorical reference to having the self governing law of God inside your conscious and unconscious being.
If a father doesn’t raise up a child in the right way teaching them how to apply scripture they will continue in life with the misperception that hitting is Gods first instinct and not speaking words of life and understanding.
If life and death are in the power of the tongue and what so ever you say you shall have then why hit?
God says that his words will not return void so why are parents so hung up on the possibility of their children not listening to their supposed wise counseling?
In provers 31 we get a glimpse into the house hold of a woman who wakes up early to insure her family is clothed in scarlet. Many just like before miss the meaning in this verse like the“Spare the rod spoil the child” verse into its basic meaning . The scarlet is symbolic of being covered in the blood of Christ and in covenant with God. Apart of preparing your children for the war we are in, its a parents duty to nuture and cloth their children so that the aren’t naked. Plainly speaking ignorant. But girded in the word of God to cover their nakedness of sin.
When we want to give our children the “rod”we have to truly reflect on our actions and motivation and true motivation level to properly resolve issues within our parent child relationships.
If you don’t teach your children how God love clothes us in this cold word, as we now say then God says that “We hate our children”
So how is a child supposed to love and honor a parent that doesn’t love them enough to take the time to speak to them so that they can listen and learn to put on their own clothes?
Because when our children are young we dress them and insure they are warm and protected but as they age they become independent and have the opportunity to take off their shoes ( ie; stop praying to God).
Also in Exodus 7:12 we have the story of Moses and Pharaoh casting down their rods and watching them turn into snakes, fight and then Moses rod finally consumes Pharos. “ Swallowed it whole, this is symbolic to what God was saying to Egypt that their law is strong, cunning , wise and nimble like a snake but Moses apparently knew something that Pharaoh and all of Egypt refused to comprehend. And that is that Gods law or rod is superior. He leads us into all truths, yes Egypt was a very great nation but they forgot their first love and that is Yah.
Many get confused at the similarities between “Moses law” given by God on Mount Sinai and the 33 confessions recited by Egyptians traditionally.
But a little history lesson clears up the confusion . Egypt was founded by one of the three Son’s of Noah after the flood. They all knew God and his law but they left and started taking things out and adding other things in as the years passed. God sent Moses to reiterate his law but Pharaoh and all of Egypt refused to submit to Gods pure law to not be a man stealer or to enslave your brother.
God has specific complaints with Egypt which leads to the death of so many first born sons in Egypt, because they should have been givien to God anyway but the whole nation stoped honoring God as the single head Deity and started tying to ascend to godhood through a few of Gods natural laws of making man in his image.
We are all indowed with great power just as God intended when he made us, so that he can commune with us in spririt and in truth. But unfortunately man seems to have one then toss the other never being able to commune with God again face to face like Moses did.
In Exodus 21: 20 “ If a man smite his servant, or his maid, with a rod, and he die under his hand; he shall be surely punished” has a totally different meaning now that we know that God warns about adding or taking away from his law to try and have the upper hand over another man. God created everyone to be equal, yet their is divisions or layers in positions due to our understanding of Gods natural laws.
Living in our own dominion upon this earth depends heavily upon our rod and how it stands up against another’s.
God told the children of Israel that he would raise them up a prophet amongst them to commune with God on their behalf and in Numbers 17:3 Israel is testing God with murmuring about who is really chosen and Does God only speak to Moses?”
No he doesn’t but Moses Rod is stronger than yours so he gets to lead.
“And it shall come to pass, that the man’s rod, whose I shall choose, shall blossom: and I will make to cease from me the murmurings of the children of Israel, whereby they murmur against you.”
They did not want to listen to Moses or Aaron although their understanding of Gods law had just gotten them out of bondage, when Gods law says they are supposed to be free people.
And in Numbers 20:8 We get another glimpse into what is literally happening amongst the people and how God views it all. “Take the rod, and gather thou the assembly together, thou, and Aaron thy brother, and speak ye unto the rock before their eyes; and it shall give forth HIS water,and thou shalt bring forth to them water out of the rock; so thou shalt give the congregation and their beasts drink.”
We all should know that God was with Israel the whole time in a cloud. And even came down on Mount Sinai to speak with all of Israel but they were afraid to talk to God so they sent Moses after all that murmuring to talk to God.
In 1 Samuel 14:27 “ we get another view of this law when Jonathan heard not when his father charged the people with an oath ( words, law): wherefore he put forth the end of his rod that was in his hand, and dipped it in an honeycomb, and put his hand to his mouth; and his eyes were enlightened.” Then Saul asked Jonathan, tell me what thou hast done. And Jonathan told him, and said, I did but taste a little honey with the end of the rod that was in mine hand, and lo, I must die?”
Jesus told the woman at the well it is I who can give you living water that you may never thirst. Because God never changes he offers the woman water but never reached into the physical well as he is the Rock and out of him springs forth the living waters so that man never thirsts again.
Psalms 74:2 “Remember thy congregation, which thou hast purchased of old; the rod of thine inheritance, which thou hast redeemed; the mount Zion, wherein thou hast dwelt.” Asking God to remember his law, contract or covenant with his people and his desire to redeem them from the bondage of the law of sin. Because we can bind people with our words by saying that you belong to me, or you can’t do this or be happy and they submit to our words as laws governing their lives.
Also in Psalms 125:3” For the rod of the wicked shall not rest upon the lot of the righteous; lest the righteous put forth their hands unto iniquity.” God is talking about a law not a physical beating but the people listening to the wrong law resulting in a beating like Egypt received. Because God receives what he is owed wither willingly or through force.
He demands that we offer up our first born unto him and just like how Egypt and Pharaoh refused Gods law or Rod they got hit with many plages unto the bill was payed. As God pays and collects his fees like a real G.
In Proverbs 10:3 In the lips of him that hath understanding wisdom is found; but a rod is for the back of him that is void of understanding. Paul clarifies and says without the law he would not have know what sin was, as its purpose is to outline the basic laws of God of clean and unclean, sacrifices and offerings.
“Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell” Not a physical beating but a verbal assault upon our sins that drag us down to hell is being explained here and in Proverbs 29:15 “The rod and reproof gives wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.”
If we don’t teach our children right from wrong they are going to become our shame in old age like the prophet Eli. He died due to the lack of steady correction and utilization of the rod of God with his two sons in 1 Samuel 4:18;Profaning the temple so that they provoked God to anger by sleeping with Gods virgins when they came to the temple to pray.
Lastly we see in Isaiah 11:1 and 4 “ And there shall come forth a rod out of the stem of Jesse, and a Branch shall grow out of its roots: “ But with righteousness shall he judge the poor, and reprove with equity for the meek of the earth; and he shall smite the earth with the rod of his mouth, and with the breath of his lips shall he slay the wicked.
Let us remember that life and death are in the power of the tong and whatever we say to our children they will believe and display as their own characteristics.
“Look not every man on his own things but every man also on the things of others, Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God; But made himself of no reputation, (did not create his own law or rod) and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men; and being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross.
Then in verse 20” For I have no man likeminded unto Timothy, who will naturally care for your state. For all seek their own, not the things which are Jesus Christ’s, and then he sent Epaphroditus because “for the work of Christ he was nigh unto death, not regarding his own life, to supply your lack of service….
We are all instructed to love one another as Christ loved the church. So lets bring his love into our conversations with one another so that we can concur our fear, resentment, anger and simple misunderstandings. when a kind word does turn away wrath as stated in Proverbs 15:1. Lets not stir up our children to anger or wrath but help them love us by first loving them the way Christ loves us and we all will live long joyful lives.
In Psalms 127:5 “Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord; and the fruit of the womb is his reward.
Isaiah 54:13 All your children shall be taught by the Lord and great shall be the peace of your children.”
Proverbs 17: 6” Children’s children are a crown to the aged and parents are the pride of their children.”
Colossians 3:21” Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.”
Psalm 127: 4-5” As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.”
I’m amazed by God’s dedication to aide all of us, and that he is never too busy to talk. To teach us how to communicate our needs to him and each other.
My words don’t always come out right, but I do have hope for this thing not yet seen.
Please share and comment your opinion would you help this family communicate better or stay out of it?