When I hid myself behind my mothers knees, as she dropped me off to children’s ministry.
I internalized my cry.
I was tired of moving around, now that we had a big new church to go along with our new home.
The words that I wanted to hear, she couldn’t whisper into my ear.
“Baby me too, Mommy sometimes feels shy when meeting someone new.”
We’re more than conqueror’s through Jesus Christ.
I love how you boldly sang before our old church, and you can do that here and so much more my dear.
Everyone is inside, waiting to learn about God from you.
You can go in there and willingly learn from them too.
Remind yourself that your smart, funny and you’ll soon make new friends, baby I’ll see you after service.
Mommy loves you and knows how strong you are, even when feeling shy.
Be bold and reflect God’s light.
Lastly, God is our peace of mind when feeling shy, and most of all you will be fine because you are more than this feeling we call shy.”
Love: Lengthy, Opportunistic, Vigil , Empathy
Some mothers lose the opportunity to emotionally comfort their children. Sometimes they are oblivious, due to their absence of mind.They don’t have the time to slow down and read the emotional, body language cues from their children and respond to them in time.
We need lengthy opportunistic, vigil, empathy from our parents to feel secure and seen in life. Also our mothers may be intentionally neglecting to validate our emotions, if they see themselves through you. They have to re-face their own un-affirmed emotions from when they were a child while raising you. If our mothers were parented in short bursts of divided attention she may not have prepared herself to provide lengthy, opportunistic, vigil, empathy.
In reverse she has normalized multitasking during caretaker duties.
Emotional maturity is a high and appropriate level of emotional control and expression.” Emotional immaturity, on the other hand, is “a tendency to express emotions without restraint or disproportionate to the situation.”.
A mother may be reminded of her own fears when pierced by her child eyes
If our parents weren’t prepared to fulfill our needs we may need to make a conscious effort to comfort ourselves. To accept faith, hope and love, we need to first learn what faith, hope, and love really means. Establishing self-faith, self-love and self-hope is a process done by applying the below table.
1. Active introspect of our behaviors.
2. Mindful engagement in reciprocity
3. Affirm and comfort exchanges.
4. Whole heart relationships
Some mothers are emotionally blunt, and react to their children’s cry for emotional support through the lenses of an appositionally defiant child.
A. Arguing with adults.
A2. Actively defying or refusing to comply with the requests or rules of adults.
A3.Deliberately doing things that will annoy other people.
A4.Blaming others for his or her behavior mistakes or misdeeds.
A5. Being touchy or easily annoyed by others.
A6.Being angry or resentful.
A7. Being Spiteful or Vindictive.
Hope: Heartfelt, Open, Progressive, Energy
“Hostility can be directed at adults or peers and is shown by deliberately annoying others or by verbal aggression.(usually without the more serious physical aggression seen in Conduct Disorders). Manifestations of this behavior finds itself most present in home settings, but may not be evident at the school or community; do to comfort or lack of similar social pressures felt at home.
These behaviors are typically more evident with adults or peers whom the child knows well. Children behaving like this won’t consider themselves as oppositional or defiant, but justify their behavior as a response to unreasonable demands or circumstances.”
Per the DSM-5“there may be a vicious cycle in which the parent AND child bring out the worst in each other. A commonality found in children with this behavior is between families having a harsh, inconsistent, or neglectful child rearing tactics.
Problematic temperamental children:
2. Difficulty being Soothed
3. High Motor Activity
4. Low Self-esteem
5. Mood Lability
6. Low Frustration Tollerance
8. Precocious use of alcohol, tobacco, or illicit drugs
9. Conflict with Parents, Teachers, and Peers.
Faith: Forecasted, Active, Introspection, Towards Health
When anyone lacks self-faith they may live there life in frustration. In steady conflict they become difficult to soothe. Self-love and self-hope are the branches connecting our internal root system, allowing us to remain psychologically ground in storms of life.
Because our parent are our first love we depend on them emotionally to assist us in building the springboard that we bounce on in life. Some children are so emotionally unfulfilled by a parent that they can image their parents death and in extreme cases the child or parent does the killing in response to this irritable heaviness. In the absence of faith,hope and love murder or abuse becomes possible.
Responding with Encouragement
5. Encouragement of an evolving life.
A child can feel inadequate for life itself, if not shown these things by their parents as they develop and mature. Even if our parents don’t fall short in these areas we have to learn to overtake our parents and become our new biggest love investors. This is how we mature and nurture ourselves.
There are times when a parent will display an unrealistic faith, hope. and love for their child hoping that their child won’t notice. The Present primary caretaker may overcompensate for an absent or neglectful second caretaker. Over compensation when bonding can alarm the child to fear and question the validity of people giving the same faith, hope and love as an overcompensating parent.
struggling to receive the love
When we are learning to live by the above listed tips life becomes more comfortable. Developing transparency and honesty gives an alleviation to the pressure we feel to be loved and love.
At times we may struggle to receive and need to focus ourselves to give lengthy, opportunistic, vigil empathy to ourselves so that we can understand how crucial our love propels and reflects others to overcome any internal hinderances.
Skillfully converting yourself from a seedling to grape, from juice, to wine to a fine brandy distilled through time.
F.orcasted H.eartful L. Lengthy
A.ctive O.pen O.opportunistic
I.ntrospection P.progressive V.igil
T.towards. E.nergy. E. Mpathy
It’s never to late to teach someone the importance of emotional introspection. Validating fears, normalizing breakdowns before our breakthrough. Reconstruction prior to conquering new territories. our emotions are investments we can’t afford to not make.
Overcome the seemingly unshakable obstacles thrown at us in life, like natural disasters, water, food depletion droughts. We can aid our child and one another by correcting our words and telling how we feel.
Listening while catering to the atmosphere of comfort for truth to be present. Denying anyone the right to experience and label their own emotions in response to parental or life situations can make them feel hanged.
As children living with their parents we have our first crucial interactions with the mysterious oppositional force in life. As nature moves us about we can learn control is an arbitrary fact. We only need to exert as much control required live in adaptation.
Your life is worthy of faith, hope and love even if your scared or feeling shy.
“Out of the eater came forth meat, and out of the strong came forth sweetness.”