Love Me Good

Love me,beautiful-bloom-blooming-220566.jpg tinder.

love me long.

Love me till I’m blind to your flaws.

Love me.

Love me unconditionally…

Love me more than you may love yourself.

 

Recently I have been thinking about love. And all the conditions we apply to love. Every love we claim to have is dripping in contingents. Barricaded and never fully developed. Realizing that love is not conditional. It is just truly wanting the best for that person whether they want, except, reciprocate, or acknowledges your existence.

Common Sense

Now that I am older and more attentive I’ve realized some crucial facts. Reshaping my life. Making me value my childhood and the care my parents put into raising my siblings and myself properly. Recently while examining my sister and two brothers and a few my own life experiences now that we’re all adults.

Common Sense is not as common as it said to be.

My sister and I were having a conversation about how our parents raised us to be aware and respectful of common sense, reality and whats right. To be simple my parents inforced logic upon us.

  • Teaching us that feelings do not out way truth.
  • That we should be able to reason outside of our feelings.
  • State how we feel in a calm way.
  • Discuss differences without getting heated.
  • Accept the truth, and let the lie go.
  • But all parents don’t seem to raise their children with these rules

Somehow others either abandoned this teaching, their children threw it out the window. And stomped all over it. Because the people that I’ve met in my life have been the most illogical people on the planet.

One conversation that will always come to mind. One of my sister’s friends and I was conversing about homeschooling. The pros and cons, including the misconceptions about homeschooling and public school.

I don’t think I stated this but I’m one of the few to have been homeschooled. But not for all of my education. I started at 6th-grade entering middle school. So I believe that I have a decent perspective on schooling.

In our conversation, it was Missouri trying to inform this gentleman that public schools waste a ton of students time every day. Barely making process in teaching and then throwing them into college. After babying them for years.

America’s nagging problem with college dropouts managed to get worse this year. The National Student Clearinghouse reports that 55 percent of first-time undergraduates who matriculated in the fall of 2008 finished a degree within six years, versus 56.1 percent of those who began in fall 2007.

U.S. high school graduation rate is up — but there’s a warning label attached. President Obama has been talking up the newly released U.S. high school graduation rate of 83.2 percent, with the White House noting in an announcement that the rate has grown by about four percentage points since the 2010-2011 school year.

homeschool students scored exceptionally high on test scores, in the 80th percentile, in comparison with the public school average of the 50th percentile.

Also, a study was done in 1997, of 5,402 homeschool students showed that on average, their scores were 30-37 percentile points higher than their public school counterparts. The study also showed that the longer a child was homeschooled the better the score was. For example, a first-year homeschool student scored in the 59th percentile, while a student homeschooled two or more years prior to taking the test score in the 86th to 92nd percentile (www.hslda.org).

A study published in July 2010, by Dr. Michael Cogan, studied homeschool students at one Mid-west college. While this small study won’t have the reaching impact of a larger study, here are his findings.

  • The homeschool students had a slightly higher retention rate, 88.6% compared to the counterpart at 87.6%.
  • There was a higher graduation rate for homeschooled students (66.7% compared to the counterpart at 57.5%).
  • The homeschooled students came in with a higher ACT score (25.0 compared to 14.7).
  • Slightly higher Grade Point Averages were held throughout the college years by the homeschooled students. (Fourth year previously homeschooled college students had a 3.46 average compared to the previously traditionally schooled students at 3.16).

He simply refused the option of homeschooling his daughter because he was afraid she wouldn’t have good social skills.

This is how our conversation went.

“Do you think I have bad social skills?”

No, but others do and she might.”

“Have you meet any homeschooled students before who lacked social skills?”

“NO”

“Have you ever even meet a homeschooled student before?”

“Nope.”

And this is where I knew this conversation was over, it was pointless to continue. I said mind and I tried. He simply could not acknowledge the advantage he would give his daughter by homeschooling her.

I was amazed that this was his biggest concern when he could simply take his child to the park and let her socialize, join social groups sports. ( And I know this does not reflect all public schoolers. This is just a literal conversation that bugged me about less than sensible people)

But these facts are a little besides my point. The guy could not and simply would not accept that homeschool students start off life at an advantage while public students don’t.

They have less time to volunteer for scholarships, internships, and part-time jobs to gain real-world experiences. To travel, and to simply go outside.

I learned from this conversation that everyone ain’t trying to live their lives with sense.

If someone is about to present something to me and it make s sense, why deny its existence. What because it goes against what I thought to be true, and what makes me feel good?

No thank you.

Sense, logic, reasoning, and facts are synonyms to my definition of life. wi=hich equal evolving. Learning through experiences. I don’t have to break my wrist to find out that it hurts, I’ll listen to others and not get hurt.

You take the pain and I’ll make the gain.

There’s no point in the both of us being in the ditch.

You trip now I know to jump.

And that’s life. But not everyone lives accordingly. They believe falling, struggling is what makes them strong. But baby I don’t need the battle scars. It ain’t about just being alive, it’s about being wise, and avoiding a ditch so I try to open my eyes.

Now I know that Common Sense ain’t as common as I was told.

Honey Drizzled….

This man…

Honey glazed.

Serendipity filling me just from his gaze.

Bemoaning from the depths of my soul.

Fierce from the top of his head to the tips of his toes.

Warm like a blazing fire on a winter mountain top.

Sugary smile, in his taunting, sultry way.

Eyes the center of the universe.

Gravitational pull, all in the palm of his hands.

Querer. My desire.

No more words to describe the glory found in him.

Silent admiration.

of his.

Honey drizzled skin.

I see him.

He see’s me.

It’s not just eye contact it’s our breath shared in sync.

Comfort in my soul.

nearer than kin.

Not a dream but reality we share.

My man and his honey drizzled skin.

 

 

Hurt

No one has the power to hurt you like yourself.

Some may say family, but thats caused by your expectations.

I hurt myself like no one else.

I inflict depression, mood swings, and life learnt lessons.

No one has the power to hurt me like myself.

Who can? I can, I do, and I will.

Self disappointment.

Self mutilation.

Self degradation

Self denial.

Self love.

Self preserverance.

Deep consideration.

Life motivation.

Out side manipulation must be allowed.

We open the door and then decide when to slam it shut.

Its my responsibility to be responsible for myslef.

If I dont care and guard myself, who will? And why should they?

Just how no one can hurt me like myself, no one can love me like myself either.

Feeble Mindedness

Are we all suffering from feeble-mindedness?

Why do we question our strengths?

What is a true weakness?

 

True weakness is a weak mind. If one cannot change their perspective on life after thinking. That is true feeble-mindedness. When and if you have the desire to commit suicide, and you cannot and or are unable to personally rationalize with yourself then you are suffering from feeble-mindedness. This disease of feeble-mindedness prohibits your ability to change your perspective. This disease can hinder personal, spiritual, and your business life.

Your life perspective shapes your reality. You cannot reason with the insane because there perspective is different from yours. You can only guide someone in hopes of changing their perspective of reality. The same applies to those who are suicidal, their perspectives on reality are different.

And that difference is life-shattering to them because of their perspective.

What is reality? Whether we all believe it or not reality is a perception. And a perception is the same as an interpretation of your surroundings. Interpretations are debatable. Your interpretation of your surroundings dictates your reality. An insane persons perception and interpretation abilities are warped if not completely broken.

Hindering them from rationalizing that they can change their future to anything, by changing their life perspective from a victim to a dictator. Who understands that they cannot control everything that happens in their life but that they can control how they handle and make their life situations better. Knowing that happiness is defined on individual bases, meaning that whenever you decide you can be happy.

Lets take a look at some definitions of a few above-mentioned words. Just for clarification and so that all readers are on the same page.

 

Feeble:  deficient in qualities or resources that indicate vigor, authority, force, or efficiency.

adjective, feebler, feeblest.

1. physically weak, as from age or sickness; frail.

2.weak intellectually or morally:

a feeble mind.

3.lacking in volume, loudness, brightness, distinctness, etc.:

a feeble voice; feeble light.

4.lacking in force, strength, or effectiveness:

feeble resistance; feeble arguments.

Feeble-mindedness: mentally deficient.

Perspectives: the capacity to view things in their true relations or relative importance. Example: trying to maintain my perspective.

Interpretation: the way something is explained or understood.

Lastly, lets review the definition of reality: Reality: something that is neither derivative nor dependent but exists necessarily an actual fact.

  1. something that exists independently of ideas concerning it.
  2. something that exists independently of all other things and from which all other things derive.

 

Even though our society has mad this rd and definition we cannot truly know something to be factual until we know all information. Considering how if we would % say that we know so we test our theories to the best of our knowledge. Then categorize it into the fact column.

 

With these words clearly defines we should all be able to reason for ourselves if what I’, proposing is true.

Now if perspectives are debatable, then does that suggest reality to be debatable? I believe so. If you are not constantly questioning and testing your reality theories then you are suffering from feeble-mindedness also. You are not using your brain to the best of its abilities, you are only partially utilizing your brains true abilities. Your brain performance is deficient.

 

Simply you are obligated to properly utilize the brain and not think feebly.

So, realities debatable then how do we define up from down?

Facts.

Facts are theories or perspectives that we have questioned and proven true to the best of our abilities. Example the color blue is a pigment, definitions do not change because we decide to change the name. The color blue will not change to orange if we start calling blue orange and vise versa. The same is true with reality, test perspectives to the best of one’s ability then and only then can we move these theories into our self-made category that we consider facts.

In order to move theories into the fact column we have to be willing to one think, then think again and then again in another way. Willingness to change your interpretation which dictates your perspective of reality.

That is how we break out of our feeble-mindedness. With this perspective on the perspective, we can change our reality. With the ability to change one’s perspective or reality this gives the control over how we pave our future realities. Which also gives the ability to change one’s future.

You can perceive your life to be over when fired from your job. Or you can change your perspective on your current reality that your life is over. Or you can take this opportunity and freedom to become independent, or star over and build whatever business or life endeavor your desire to build from the bottom back to the top. Even better, you can change your reality to be greater than you perceived it would be. Perception is our missing link and key in life to healing ourselves from feeble-mindedness.

 

This was an Off The Dome Tuesday post and I hope to the least I encouraged and laid the path of new neurons leading to a new perspective on life. Or caused you to retravel a previous thought path.

Feeble-Mindedness has been a constant struggle for me in my last 3 years. I have had independence of my mind declared in my previous: Deceleration of Independence 🤗

My purpose is not to condemn or to offend but to encourage and uplift all of my readers and followers as well as myself. I truly love how everyone wants the world to be a better place but I say forget the word and let’s make humanity into better people. And with better people, they will feel inclined to better our world.  what better way to start than with yourself?

Thankfully in this new breathtaking year, we call 2018 I encouragingly challenge everyone to strive for freedom internally and externally. No longer chained by our inner demons of feeble-mindedness.

Have a Happy New Year with unfathomable accomplishments leaving behind our struggles of 2017. And wrestling with new 2018 struggles, which is a good thing because life always has struggled and I have no problem with struggling our striving for new heights in life. I have a problem if year after year I fight with the same demons/struggles.

So again, let’s leave behind our feeble-mindedness of 2017 declare independence, seek self-loveHow to Heal Childhood Wounds, healing of inner wounds, mending relationships; Male Masculinity and Relationships, and partaking in prosperous actions. no longer dwelling in pseudo-masculinity, and our concepts of adulthood, or life perspectives. Let us grow past 2017 and spring into 2018.

 

Dazed

My mind is weighing me down.

Chocking my heart, causing me a stupendous amount of grief.

Leaving me stunned.

Far from amazed.

Trapping me in a thunderous haze

Its heavy, chocking, causing me to gage.

As I reach up and around hunting for a psychological inhaler.

Trying but just continuing to aspirate.

Joy, won’t you dwell in my heart and allow me to breathe?

Peace, manifest yourself in my bones.

 

My mind is so heavy.

My heart seems heavier than life.

Even though my heart and mind is life.

My mind controls my life.

So if my mind is heavy, my heart is an unwilling subject.

Following ever so closely.

Mimicking every thoughtless detail of my brain.

 

My heart sunken to its lowest depth.

Fighting to remember, focus on the serendipity feelings of life.

Shoving away and no longer dwelling on the past.

Allowing my mind to scurry towards my future.

My heart and mind once heavily chained.

 

How we got free?

We learned how to unchain this heart and mind.

Loose, yourself from mental suicide.

Assassination of our inner man

This is abuse and we need not aid in our own mental abuse.

 

Worst

Emotions.

Changing faster than the seasons and hours.

Evoking conviction or bliss.

Stroking an inner cyst.

Hemorrhage in the heart.

Emotions sway.

Seizing the day.

Eclips of the brain.

Changing our hearts.

Trifling, tactless, and indiscreet.

Degrading our thoughts

Manefesting in our walks

The worst kind of thoughts.

Emotion filled thoughts.

Relentless, hence why we never stop.

Why dont we evolve?

Discontinue this unworthy brand.

Unmingle it with the seed of man.

Cast it fare from within our hands.

No longer shall we mention its name.

I agree, we all agree.

Lets make this a decree

Please, dont forget the plan?

The worst is an emotion driven man.

We will rationalize.

Not internalize.

Respond with only facts.

Do not decend into this sin.

Gather our courage and strength.

“We the people,” can make this stand.

This is a battle not for the wimp.

“Oh, you need much strength.”

Muster, crumple, gather all your wits.

As one, we will recompense.

Indemnify, those who suffered ill fate.

At the hands of the worst man trait.

Like, comment, and follow my blog if you enjoyed this excerpt from my soul. 😉

Suffocation….

Puffed throat.

Needle-like salvia .

Feverish burning.

Flurrying heart.

No desire for air.

Trying to rationalize and swallow.

Digest the thorns forced down the path way.

Swell.

Bloody parade.

Deception of the brain.

Ingestion of the coal.

Perfection and power is the goal.

Decent into the ever consuming Abyss.

Entrance without an exit.

One solid direction, no loops and turns just a straight decent.

Bekended by internal calls.

Slavish, barbaric place.

What to do when your soul went the wrong way?

Who to call when fatal deception is your fall?

Should we turn around?

Cough up the gold, silver and rust?

Or enjoy the suffication?

Accession of the mind?

Scratchy, abrasive, scalding of man kind.

Suple, elastic, gritty was our kind.

In the end.

We all will see the end.

So whats the point, why shouldn’t we give in?

This place in Time

Featured

Have you ever craved a particular kind of music?

But can never find the style that meets your current feeling.

This is something new to me.

I’ve always known what song, what artist, and the exact tempo to play to coincide with my inside yearning.

But as of late, I can’t seem to find a song, artists, or genre to agree with my current space.

I am not a one genre kind of person

I mingle in pop, classical, rap, Rnb, Country, and jazz, Practically everything under the Sun.

But as of right now I struggle to find someone who matches my place in time.

I know tons of songs, but none seem to fit.

They don’t eas my mind and make me think “That’s it!”

I’ve reluctantly come to the conclusion that maybe I’ve grown to another frame of mind.

Including the oldies, all the way back to the twenties up until now.

Nothing, and I mean nothing soothes my soul.

It might be “when you know more, more is required of you” type of phenomenon.

Considering with this feeling came my desire to start my blog and start writing more.

As well as my personal decree to stop watching tv and many other idle things, and replace those moments in time with informative videos, and books.

This is what caused my spiral into watching TEDx talk videos about self-love, how to achieve your goals. I’ve listened to Malcolm Gladwell books, Read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.

Which, has revolutionized my daily expectations in my current life.

I now want more love from myself for myself as well as to others. I don’t want to live stereotypically vague. Working, searching for love, with an internal itch for something more out of my life.

In the moments of these feelings, I have times where I just have the urge to cry.

I don’t particularly think I have many reasons to cry.

I don’t believe myself to be pessimistic just realistic on my outlook on life.

Whatever the cause may be at least I think I know what the effect on myself is going to be.

A part of me does not want to completely leave what I have known and allowed to be my comfort.

But, then the other part of me knows that it will kill me if I never leave these things behind.

I will continue to lay in bed at night and negate the unwise things I let consume my time.

Which leads to my guilt of daily spending my time, resulting in me doing random things at night. Reading, schoolwork, Tedx videos, Research, all because I feel guilty about the things I don’t do in the day.

I want so much more from myself. And I can not wait for someone to come and hold my hand to guide me through this change. This is something that me, myself, and I, has to gird up myself and triumph through.

I know this may seem vague, but for those who understand. You as well should let go.

Let go of whatever you know is no longer good for you.

No matter how long it or they have been your source of comfort, your soul will continue to be dismayed.

I feel the beckoning to change, and I don’t want to criticize myself for not leaving these things behind. They are not the center of the universe. Let alone my world.

  • I will break free from this chain, even though its things that I have attached to myself.
  • I have engaged in my own persecution, mutilation, and subjugation. I knowingly submit myself to people and things.
  • I no longer want this in my life.

As of this moment in time, I am still unsure of the true meaning behind my inability to find music to my taste and be truly engaged in other idle things, tv shows, movies, and futile things, that doesn’t do me any good. I who call myself an adult, feel that I have to be entertained by primordial kinds of paraphernalia.

I’m learning to retrain myself to enjoy at all times things that are truly beneficial to my mind, body, life, and future. I no longer want to want tyrannical  ( pleasures) that are typical; teaching me nothing but how not to trust, bad stereotypical traits of men, women, other races, and even of my next of kin. Its no longer desirable, and I won’t succumb. Replacing them with profitable interests.

I felt that I was suppressing my desire to write, change my daily routine, and attributes of my life, which was a suppression of myself. Inside of this movement that I created, I hope it creates a stampede within myself. So that I will blitz towards truth and true betterment of myself and spirit. Which, will manifest in all aspects of my life.

This place in time.

 

 

Ascension: Cinnamon

Hellow, and greetings to all. I know the post of the week is late but all is well. And I hope its enjoyed.

A color poem is whats in mind.

This kind of poem is my own personal invention. One where every line includes a color.

This particular poem today is a man’s description of a woman.

I hope everyone is familiar with their colors.

It’s not really necessary, just ask google.

Without further ado:

 

 

Tawny?

Yes, tawny was her hair.

Syrupy, was her ting.

Mint was her air.

Cinnamon, are her eyes.

Walnut, etched cheekbones.

Ginger on her backbone.

And a brunette colored spine.

 

Mulberry twing, about her hips.

Boysenberry were her lips.

Tangerine, were her hands.

A sandstone brine, for her hind.

Spice, in between her thighs.

With a butterscotch undertone.

Had on a honeydew kind of dress.

With a brick house of a stance.

Arctic, was our view.

Candy was her tongue.

Marmalade, I sniffed her Perfume.

Honey was her touch.

Golden is her hue.

Lemon, she had much zest.

Fire etched her eyes.

Aries was her sign.

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