Category Archives: Post of The Week

This place in Time

Have you ever craved a particular kind of music?

But can never find the style that meets your current feeling.

This is something new to me.

I’ve always known what song, what artist, and the exact tempo to play to coincide with my inside yearning.

But as of late, I can’t seem to find a song, artists, or genre to agree with my current space.

I am not a one genre kind of person

I mingle in pop, classical, rap, Rnb, Country, and jazz, Practically everything under the Sun.

But as of right now I struggle to find someone who matches my place in time.

I know tons of songs, but none seem to fit.

They don’t eas my mind and make me think “That’s it!”

I’ve reluctantly come to the conclusion that maybe I’ve grown to another frame of mind.

Including the oldies, all the way back to the twenties up until now.

Nothing, and I mean nothing soothes my soul.

It might be “when you know more, more is required of you” type of phenomenon.

Considering with this feeling came my desire to start my blog and start writing more.

As well as my personal decree to stop watching tv and many other idle things, and replace those moments in time with informative videos, and books.

This is what caused my spiral into watching TEDx talk videos about self-love, how to achieve your goals. I’ve listened to Malcolm Gladwell books, Read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.

Which, has revolutionized my daily expectations in my current life.

I now want more love from myself for myself as well as to others. I don’t want to live stereotypically vague. Working, searching for love, with an internal itch for something more out of my life.

In the moments of these feelings, I have times where I just have the urge to cry.

I don’t particularly think I have many reasons to cry.

I don’t believe myself to be pessimistic just realistic on my outlook on life.

Whatever the cause may be at least I think I know what the effect on myself is going to be.

A part of me does not want to completely leave what I have known and allowed to be my comfort.

But, then the other part of me knows that it will kill me if I never leave these things behind.

I will continue to lay in bed at night and negate the unwise things I let consume my time.

Which leads to my guilt of daily spending my time, resulting in me doing random things at night. Reading, schoolwork, Tedx videos, Research, all because I feel guilty about the things I don’t do in the day.

I want so much more from myself. And I can not wait for someone to come and hold my hand to guide me through this change. This is something that me, myself, and I, has to gird up myself and triumph through.

I know this may seem vague, but for those who understand. You as well should let go.

Let go of whatever you know is no longer good for you.

No matter how long it or they have been your source of comfort, your soul will continue to be dismayed.

I feel the beckoning to change, and I don’t want to criticize myself for not leaving these things behind. They are not the center of the universe. Let alone my world.

  • I will break free from this chain, even though its things that I have attached to myself.
  • I have engaged in my own persecution, mutilation, and subjugation. I knowingly submit myself to people and things.
  • I no longer want this in my life.

As of this moment in time, I am still unsure of the true meaning behind my inability to find music to my taste and be truly engaged in other idle things, tv shows, movies, and futile things, that doesn’t do me any good. I who call myself an adult, feel that I have to be entertained by primordial kinds of paraphernalia.

I’m learning to retrain myself to enjoy at all times things that are truly beneficial to my mind, body, life, and future. I no longer want to want tyrannical  ( pleasures) that are typical; teaching me nothing but how not to trust, bad stereotypical traits of men, women, other races, and even of my next of kin. Its no longer desirable, and I won’t succumb. Replacing them with profitable interests.

I felt that I was suppressing my desire to write, change my daily routine, and attributes of my life, which was a suppression of myself. Inside of this movement that I created, I hope it creates a stampede within myself. So that I will blitz towards truth and true betterment of myself and spirit. Which, will manifest in all aspects of my life.

This place in time.

 

 

Ascension: Cinnamon

Hellow, and greetings to all. I know the post of the week is late but all is well. And I hope its enjoyed.

A color poem is whats in mind.

This kind of poem is my own personal invention. One where every line includes a color.

This particular poem today is a man’s description of a woman.

I hope everyone is familiar with their colors.

It’s not really necessary, just ask google.

Without further ado:

 

 

Tawny?

Yes, tawny was her hair.

Syrupy, was her ting.

Mint was her air.

Cinnamon, are her eyes.

Walnut, etched cheekbones.

Ginger on her backbone.

And a brunette colored spine.

 

Mulberry twing, about her hips.

Boysenberry were her lips.

Tangerine, were her hands.

A sandstone brine, for her hind.

Spice, in between her thighs.

With a butterscotch undertone.

Had on a honeydew kind of dress.

With a brick house of a stance.

Arctic, was our view.

Candy was her tongue.

Marmalade, I sniffed her Perfume.

Honey was her touch.

Golden is her hue.

Lemon, she had much zest.

Fire etched her eyes.

Aries was her sign.

Darkness

While thinking, I suddenly thought how warm darkness is.

I assume a good way to get a glimpse into a persons mental state is by asking how they feel about darkness.

And by darkness, I mean discribe your feelings on a deep dark night when you step outside.

When younger, I was scared of the night. My mind would be filled with thoughts of what ifs. (Someone or thing was lurking around waiting to pounce.)🕵️‍♂️

Never taking the time to realish in the beauty of the night.

Quite, peaceful , stillness, and settle soft breezes of wind tickleing my face.

The beauty of the night sky.

Maybe its just me experiencing the warm florida nights.

But, the night is so warm. It just feels just right at times.

It’s quite, my thoughts are loud and clear with no interruption,except from my next train of thought.

Everyone talks about how breathtaking the sky is in day time. Or a tear jurking stary night.

I enjoy the pitch dark nights where you wounder where everything and one is hiding.

Do you go outside at night?

What for?

How does it make you feel?

Please dont be afraid, dont think of the monsters of the day.

Let the night cleans you.

There is beauty in the dark night sky.

Maybe even more than the bright day.

Because the dark sky forces, faith and hope for another day.

Darkness has its own kind of brightness.

We just have to stop to feel it.

It can feel heavy or light, maybe it depends on the night.

I guess it depends on your view of the night.

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Deceleration of Independence 🤗

Don’t we all grow up hearing this cliche from wise people; “you will never be successful in a relationship until you learn to love yourself or understand yourself.”

Yep, we’ve all heard this a million times and until the other day, I thought that I did truly love myself.

But then as I was watching this TEDx video about marriage I discovered that I needed to marry myself.

And I thought; what is this three time married and divorced woman talking about! Marry myself 😐.

Then I took into consideration of how short this speech was and decided to at least give my undivided and nonprejudice attention.

Wow, what a decision that was. I am happy that I took the time to listen to this lady and my conclusion is as follows. 😄

I had to love myself exactly where I was financial, mentally, and spiritually. I thought that since I knew I was beautiful physically and a little bit more than fiscally, then I loved myself.

I was not one of the people to whom this saying was attributed to.

But while watching, I learned that I didn’t love myself unconditionally. For the worst and ugly truth. This part of ourselves we suppress from a very young age.

Through sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, and until death do us apart.

I realized that I loved or found value in myself solely based upon conditions; my aspirations of my future self.

Not for who I was currently, but for who I was striving to become.

And that my friends are not unconditional let alone basic love.

 

So, while watching this video this lady went on about how she married thrice and left all her husbands because after three to four years she felt unhappy and unsatisfied.

Talk about the horror story to our supposedly happy ever afters.😣

She spent her life looking for someone else to complete her, instead of herself being a whole person and the other person a companion to herself.

We all have been bamboozled, male and females into thinking that we need another person to complete us, or to make us feel loved.

When this is not the case, we have to love ourselves first and then we can love others not just our significant other but everyone we come into contact with.

Now, getting to the point of this post. I made a new declaration and discovery.

 

Declaration of Independence:

1. From others and now to a dependency to Myself

2. That from this day forward I will love myself wholeheartedly and unconditionally. I will no longer be dependent upon others. Truely indulging in my redefined dependency upon my current self.

3. For better or for worse. Through sickness and in health. For who I am right now and not for who I want to be. Even if I never reach any and I mean any of my dreams and or asperations.

4. I will love myself for myself and not for anyone else. I love myself just for wanting to love myself.

5. I take me myself and I to be my lawfully wedded (partner in life ), to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death does us part.

Discovery:

Our society teaches a false or partial self-love. We have to stop wondering how other people feel about us.

And consider how we feel about them, not the other way around. You are not the center of attention but they or the world is your center of attention.

With this new mindset,  we can all reach or maintain that young or old self-awareness. Elders and really young children know this but somewhere in between, we lose this self-dedication.

So here comes the cliche line, Join me in my new found journey to self love. :/

No, really do join me this will be great and more than worth it, because (in a whispering loud voice) we may end up alone.

Not everyone finds that special someone or has the time. But even those people might not know how to properly love themselves. 🙂

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