Bless My Love

My love, my love, my dearest sweet love.

I pray God blesses you in every way.

Dear, do tell me how soon until you are near?

Near enough for me to hold.

Close enough for me to smell.

Clasping arm around arm. My love, I hope you are well.

May God bless your eyes, so that you may continue to gaze upon me lovingly.

May the Lord bless your ears, so that you may hear my voice.

Bless your feet, so you may walk straight to me.

Most of all bless your lips, that they may meet mine’s. I pray you wont be shy and continue to kiss me and move over to my check, collarbone, breast, stomach and thigh.

Picture from Pexels.com

May he bless your hard-working hands, strong and wide.

My love, my love, my dearest sweet love. God bless your soul, that it may intertwine with mine’s.

All photographs by Pexel.com

Featured

Psychology

Not my first love but my dearest second. Psychology is a passage into one of many hidden dimensions in life. We can either apply it like simpletons or become resourceful, delving into the intricate web of the human psyche. Divulging our hidden, repulsive, delightful and purest selves. Destroying and concocting the world as we know it into either what it is or what we want it to be.

Psychology is enlightening continuously, on how sensitive the human mind and actions are to influence. Influence can be found and hidden in many ways and things. Sounds, actions, pictures, while awake and asleep.

Exploring all areas of the human being. Bringing rationality to what we once preached to be symptoms of insanity. The concept of something manipulating our behavior other than ourselves; controlling our actions. Messages are being sent and received.

To summarize, my love for psychology is founded on the ideology of controlling and being controlled. Most fear and reject this discovery. But I don’t, I embrace it and acknowledge it as an aspect of life. But can I counter-attack? Re-persuade my sub-conscious into what I deem upright, knowledgeable and suitable behavior. It is the year 2019, I am a product of my surroundings and a victim of knowledge. Studies of the human mind and its functions, beloved behavior manipulation, social learning, cognitive and cultural dissonance. It is a fact that someone or people are is guiding our world beliefs, religious infatuations, sexual norms, racial identification, social justice and even our definitions of freedom. Entitlement, allotment or earned through battle?

Developmental psychology, Social and personality, Biological. My highest interest lies in perception and behavioral psychology, Cognition & cognitive neuroscience. Freud, Skinner, Carl Jung, John B. Watson, Alfred Binet and many more. Psychology is not summarizable as “why the world is round?” A better description would be why do you believe the world is round, whom or who told you so? Why do you perceive it as true? Why don’t you question the world being round? Why did you take so long to consider thinking of the possibility of misinformation of the world being round? And who and what is suppressing or manipulating your thinking? And if we find out we have been misguided, why do we give the dictator or facts the benefit of the doubt and say it was an un-intentional misguidance. Why can’t we aknowlegde that the world is cruel in every way in the year 2019 just as it was three thousand years ago. No one is handing over information and if they are, you and I should be cautious of free information.

This is what psychology means to me, I do believe others summarize and prioritize different aspects. But this is similar to salvation for the mind, we all get touched by a different preaching sermon and style. My dearest Second love, Psychology.

An Amaranthine Love

A loud thunderstorm and a soft translucent rain.

Comparable to good loving.

A deep warm hug.

A tender kiss

A delicious meal.

Soft rain stirs my soul deeply into ustulation.

pexels-photo-1317258.jpeg

Washing away my continuous growth of nemesism; from past and present days.

I feel like rain is a sign from God that we need to mindfully redintegrate our souls.

In one sentence the rain dirls my heart, mind, and soul.

I wonder if anyone else feels this way about the rain.

Please tell me you do?

That you experience theses ineffable feelings when the sky cries.

Either 1,2, 3, or 4 moods bewitch me.

  1. A deep euphoric sleep.
  2. Rapturous energy serges; fixing all melancholy in my eyes before the thunderstorm. Reminding me that my time is short and to be happy I have breath in my lungs. No matter my frustrations the rain renews my joy. It signals an unspoken promise that’s etched across my heart. ( Have joy in the midst of this worlds sorrow!)
  3. Equanimity; a yearning to stop all things and meditate.

Seek out calmness. Composure, of breath and watch the rain fall down my windows as I drive. Upon my skin, starting with the palms of my hands. Praying to be cleansed, as I reach out and over my porch.

pexels-photo.jpg

4. A deep mourning. I cry for No other reason than to let out emotions sometimes. Can’t pinpoint it to anger or frustration. The rain just calls me to cry and both sing sometimes. I don’t know if I’m crying for lost souls or for my soon to come frustration once the rain stops. But I can say it’s from the heart, slow and one by one. As if the result of each and every thought I hold dear.

Hopefully, it’s not just me, although me and rain we go way back.

We will always share our amaranthine Love.

Even in death, I’ll welcome it to my corpse.

Fall on my grave top, seep and penetrate my tomb.

Oh, how I love rain.

And he loves me too.

Diligently and sweet…

Through heartache and grief…

Rain sweeps me off of my feet.

pexels-photo-1130514

Mortgaged Time

Featured

No time. why do we feel like we don’t have the time to advocate for things and people that we believe are important?

  •  Primed to mortgage our time on superficial occupations.

We live out our days on this earth going to school religiously to get our ideal job. Then we date frantically to find our harmonious spouse. And then we squabble vehemently to provide for our perfect family.

  • There is never enough time for everything.

With careers, schooling, and families, plus our necessary leisure time to rejuvenate. There is never enough time to do the things we know are important but are convinced has no benefit other than emotional gratification.

 

pexels-photo-1037993

Warning made up the following scenario:

Everyday Janet drives to work at her local DMV center. In her routine day, she realizes that customers are complaining about how the new law requires them to have the best car insurance financially possible. They have to submit a portfolio of their income and expenses. Proving that they’re spending the most they can afford. All in hopes of decreasing the number of underinsured drivers being sued during car accident claim disputes.

Janet can relate with the clients that this is invasive, and she complains to clients daily. Janet also talks about the new requirement with her coworkers. Although Janet is aware of the impeachments of American citizens rights. She has the thought of not only complaining but to jump into action; she tells herself she hasn’t the time to look into the validity of her feelings. Nor does she believe her protesting will be pervasive in changing the new requirement.

  • No longer complaining but acting.

“Small steps equal huge Journies”

 

pexels-photo-556669

You do not have to abandon your job, family and leisure time to be an advocate against world problems. Somehow we have contrived in our minds and applied these thoughts to our schedule that it takes so much time and long spurts of effort to succeed.

  1. Janet only needs to commit thirty minutes a day on her lunch break to look into how to go about changing laws as a citizen of Little Rock.
  2. Make a list of what she thinks is required to change the new law.
  3. What constitutes “illegal law practices”?
  4. How have people in the past changed laws that were voted into everyday play?

The more she knows and looks into answering her questions, the less she will feel her desired end result is impossible for her to accomplish.

  • Praise and Envy to the Devoted Protesters/Advocates.

Deep within us, we can acknowledge the praiseworthiness of people who will advocate and not only complain about problems in life. Secret Envy of individuals who dedicate their lives to “The Cause”. Regardless of societies pressure’s; telling them to put their picket signs down and join the local job force.

  • Mainstream Media has Victimized Our Minds Into Thinking of only Extremities.

Either you went to school and you work the “nine to five” plus occasional overtime. Or you are a whimsical emotionally driven human, who refuses to earn a proper living. All because you utilize your education to irritate, in hopes of reformation.

 

night-television-tv-theme-machines

We are constantly prapelled to respond to abominations and outcries of those mutilated, yet we can’t find the time to become a protester. Who constantly utilize their free time or prioritizes all of their time to better the world.

  • Under-Estimating The Importance Of Emotional Gratification, Incurred by Acting upon our desire to change the World.

Incomplete, our feelings when we suppress our innate urge to campaign and rally change.

 

pexels-photo-573271

Feeling Stuck…

Symptoms of suppressed Desires:

  1. Anxiety
  2. Slight/Light depression
  3. Muscle tension
  4. Unsettled; mentally and physically. Feeling the need to busy yourself constantly resulting in empty feelings.
  • Positive Manifestations derived from the Evolution of Human Urges.

All human desires are not promiscuous/evil. Nor do they lead you away from normal operations in life.

Alleviation of our connate calling to reform the world into a better place causes:

 

pexels-photo-935985

  1. Effective
  2. In control
  3. Efficient
  4. Influential
  5. Complete
  6. Empowered
  7. Enriched with awareness of life’s purpose emotions.

pexels-photo-279415

 

Sisu….

Ambitions got a hold on me.

It’s burning in my chest.

Eating and consuming my flesh.

Tears gleaming in my eyes, begging for success.

 

Jittery, an explosion of massive energy.

This isn’t greed, Its determination of a dream.

A manifestation.

I’ve got grit signed throughout my genes.

pexels-photo-414860

Fulfillment of a proclamation.

Declaration of my previously mentioned assertation.

 

Not just verbal affirmation.

Self-driven, accumulation.

Ambitions got a knife to my throat. He even told me he’s been assigned not to let me go.

I don’t know why? I’ve got my own gun to his head.

I’ll succeed and then we can die.

I repeat this is not fueled by greed.

There’s no ambiguity nor ambivalence.

The feeling is immensely concrete.

God himself made it into a decree.

It’s written in ancient stone, fear has to flee.

There’s no space in my stomach for butterflies.

I’m filled and spilling over with ingenuity.

My mission can’t be compromised.

For the last time, this is not greed.

Just a fulfillment of intuition.

A conviction as I try to express my predisposed inner-mission.

I ingress, not simply definied as ambition.

I’ve got zeal, ammunition, hunger, and lots of time plus commitment.

I am a manifestation of the law of attraction.

pexels-photo-604684

You can characterize it as my genetic predisposition.

Each heartbeat propels me forward.

This can be simplified as a confession, there can be no intercession.

Not a probability, its a fact and definitely not an anomaly.

Stamped and sealed from the beginning of time.

Lastly, I was meant to win the race.

And no, I’m not simply speaking into outerspace.

My birth symbolic, of a worldwide resurrection.

pexels-photo-580679

I’ll now continue my conquest.

Even in the womb, it was coupled around my spine.

God himself, imparted me with this truth.

He said, “I’ve chosen you and you shall bear much fruit”.

pexels-photo-1106452

FD

Charming is this girl.

I’ve yet to make a stand on the degree of her minds command.

Just how smart and aware is she?

Pretty?

Friend?

Or hidden foe?

They say watch women.

And never undermine their ability to score.

“Hell has no fury like a woman scorned”.

I am a woman too…

pexels-photo-247298

The world has yet to burn my skin.

Truce, treaty, peace pipe, a pledge of allegiance?

She’s testing me, I’m also testing her.

She seems a bit careful with her words.

Open but not open.

Telling them a truth before they ask her for the truth.

Brushing lightly with the tip of her hands.

She stares silently at her prey.

Firmly suggesting for you to bend to her ways.

Seeking out weaknesses and turning them back to see their effects in play.

She has “game” and it’s better than a few others I know.

Mind your manners, abruptly raising a hand. To see who will flinch.

What is her mission?

 

 

pexels-photo-413727

Is she an alpha female or a follower of tales?

I’ve yet to decide, although I feel negatively impressed by her gaze.

Her stance is not that of a stallion.

And her stare is lacking in ferocity. But to whom does she compare?

She knows not how to glide when she walks.

Yet she can cause people to watch.

Charming girl, she’s cute in her own way; surely she’s a foe who’s perfecting her monkey show.

pexels-photo-247322

Love Me Good

Love me,beautiful-bloom-blooming-220566.jpg tinder.

love me long.

Love me till I’m blind to your flaws.

Love me.

Love me unconditionally…

Love me more than you may love yourself.

 

Recently I have been thinking about love. And all the conditions we apply to love. Every love we claim to have is dripping in contingents. Barricaded and never fully developed. Realizing that love is not conditional. It is just truly wanting the best for that person whether they want, except, reciprocate, or acknowledges your existence.

Common Sense

Now that I am older and more attentive I’ve realized some crucial facts. Reshaping my life. Making me value my childhood and the care my parents put into raising my siblings and myself properly. Recently while examining my sister and two brothers and a few my own life experiences now that we’re all adults.

Common Sense is not as common as it said to be.

My sister and I were having a conversation about how our parents raised us to be aware and respectful of common sense, reality and whats right. To be simple my parents inforced logic upon us.

  • Teaching us that feelings do not out way truth.
  • That we should be able to reason outside of our feelings.
  • State how we feel in a calm way.
  • Discuss differences without getting heated.
  • Accept the truth, and let the lie go.
  • But all parents don’t seem to raise their children with these rules

Somehow others either abandoned this teaching, their children threw it out the window. And stomped all over it. Because the people that I’ve met in my life have been the most illogical people on the planet.

One conversation that will always come to mind. One of my sister’s friends and I was conversing about homeschooling. The pros and cons, including the misconceptions about homeschooling and public school.

I don’t think I stated this but I’m one of the few to have been homeschooled. But not for all of my education. I started at 6th-grade entering middle school. So I believe that I have a decent perspective on schooling.

In our conversation, it was Missouri trying to inform this gentleman that public schools waste a ton of students time every day. Barely making process in teaching and then throwing them into college. After babying them for years.

America’s nagging problem with college dropouts managed to get worse this year. The National Student Clearinghouse reports that 55 percent of first-time undergraduates who matriculated in the fall of 2008 finished a degree within six years, versus 56.1 percent of those who began in fall 2007.

U.S. high school graduation rate is up — but there’s a warning label attached. President Obama has been talking up the newly released U.S. high school graduation rate of 83.2 percent, with the White House noting in an announcement that the rate has grown by about four percentage points since the 2010-2011 school year.

homeschool students scored exceptionally high on test scores, in the 80th percentile, in comparison with the public school average of the 50th percentile.

Also, a study was done in 1997, of 5,402 homeschool students showed that on average, their scores were 30-37 percentile points higher than their public school counterparts. The study also showed that the longer a child was homeschooled the better the score was. For example, a first-year homeschool student scored in the 59th percentile, while a student homeschooled two or more years prior to taking the test score in the 86th to 92nd percentile (www.hslda.org).

A study published in July 2010, by Dr. Michael Cogan, studied homeschool students at one Mid-west college. While this small study won’t have the reaching impact of a larger study, here are his findings.

  • The homeschool students had a slightly higher retention rate, 88.6% compared to the counterpart at 87.6%.
  • There was a higher graduation rate for homeschooled students (66.7% compared to the counterpart at 57.5%).
  • The homeschooled students came in with a higher ACT score (25.0 compared to 14.7).
  • Slightly higher Grade Point Averages were held throughout the college years by the homeschooled students. (Fourth year previously homeschooled college students had a 3.46 average compared to the previously traditionally schooled students at 3.16).

He simply refused the option of homeschooling his daughter because he was afraid she wouldn’t have good social skills.

This is how our conversation went.

“Do you think I have bad social skills?”

No, but others do and she might.”

“Have you meet any homeschooled students before who lacked social skills?”

“NO”

“Have you ever even meet a homeschooled student before?”

“Nope.”

And this is where I knew this conversation was over, it was pointless to continue. I said mind and I tried. He simply could not acknowledge the advantage he would give his daughter by homeschooling her.

I was amazed that this was his biggest concern when he could simply take his child to the park and let her socialize, join social groups sports. ( And I know this does not reflect all public schoolers. This is just a literal conversation that bugged me about less than sensible people)

But these facts are a little besides my point. The guy could not and simply would not accept that homeschool students start off life at an advantage while public students don’t.

They have less time to volunteer for scholarships, internships, and part-time jobs to gain real-world experiences. To travel, and to simply go outside.

I learned from this conversation that everyone ain’t trying to live their lives with sense.

If someone is about to present something to me and it make s sense, why deny its existence. What because it goes against what I thought to be true, and what makes me feel good?

No thank you.

Sense, logic, reasoning, and facts are synonyms to my definition of life. wi=hich equal evolving. Learning through experiences. I don’t have to break my wrist to find out that it hurts, I’ll listen to others and not get hurt.

You take the pain and I’ll make the gain.

There’s no point in the both of us being in the ditch.

You trip now I know to jump.

And that’s life. But not everyone lives accordingly. They believe falling, struggling is what makes them strong. But baby I don’t need the battle scars. It ain’t about just being alive, it’s about being wise, and avoiding a ditch so I try to open my eyes.

Now I know that Common Sense ain’t as common as I was told.

Honey Drizzled….

This man…

Honey glazed.

Serendipity filling me just from his gaze.

Bemoaning from the depths of my soul.

Fierce from the top of his head to the tips of his toes.

Warm like a blazing fire on a winter mountain top.

Sugary smile, in his taunting, sultry way.

Eyes the center of the universe.

Gravitational pull, all in the palm of his hands.

Querer. My desire.

No more words to describe the glory found in him.

Silent admiration.

of his.

Honey drizzled skin.

I see him.

He see’s me.

It’s not just eye contact it’s our breath shared in sync.

Comfort in my soul.

nearer than kin.

Not a dream but reality we share.

My man and his honey drizzled skin.

 

 

Hurt

No one has the power to hurt you like yourself.

Some may say family, but thats caused by your expectations.

I hurt myself like no one else.

I inflict depression, mood swings, and life learnt lessons.

No one has the power to hurt me like myself.

Who can? I can, I do, and I will.

Self disappointment.

Self mutilation.

Self degradation

Self denial.

Self love.

Self preserverance.

Deep consideration.

Life motivation.

Out side manipulation must be allowed.

We open the door and then decide when to slam it shut.

Its my responsibility to be responsible for myslef.

If I dont care and guard myself, who will? And why should they?

Just how no one can hurt me like myself, no one can love me like myself either.

%d bloggers like this: