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How to Heal Childhood Wounds

Part two
Male Masculinity and Relationships



Written by Eric C., MA., PhD Candidate | Mental Health Professional

I wanted to share with you a system that I use in my private practice. My mentor and supervisor Dr. Judy Rosenberg (PSY #PSY14817) developed this psycho-educational model for psychotherapy. The Mind Map™ is a very easy-to-use and powerful tool for illustrating how the wounds of childhood were delivered, embedded and manifested into present day. It illuminates for us exactly what to do about it.

The “Be the Cause” MIND MAP™ for Healing Human Disconnect identifies the original wound of the parent/child disconnect. At the heart of the Be the Cause System is the Mind Map™, which is designed to take you from the problem, through the process and to the solution. There are 9 Panels, organized into 3 rows from left to right and from top to bottom. Think of these panels as stages that you will travel through on your…

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While thinking, I suddenly thought how warm darkness is.

I assume a good way to get a glimpse into a persons mental state is by asking how they feel about darkness.

And by darkness, I mean discribe your feelings on a deep dark night when you step outside.

When younger, I was scared of the night. My mind would be filled with thoughts of what ifs. (Someone or thing was lurking around waiting to pounce.)🕵️‍♂️

Never taking the time to realish in the beauty of the night.

Quite, peaceful , stillness, and settle soft breezes of wind tickleing my face.

The beauty of the night sky.

Maybe its just me experiencing the warm florida nights.

But, the night is so warm. It just feels just right at times.

It’s quite, my thoughts are loud and clear with no interruption,except from my next train of thought.

Everyone talks about how breathtaking the sky is in day time. Or a tear jurking stary night.

I enjoy the pitch dark nights where you wounder where everything and one is hiding.

Do you go outside at night?

What for?

How does it make you feel?

Please dont be afraid, dont think of the monsters of the day.

Let the night cleans you.

There is beauty in the dark night sky.

Maybe even more than the bright day.

Because the dark sky forces, faith and hope for another day.

Darkness has its own kind of brightness.

We just have to stop to feel it.

It can feel heavy or light, maybe it depends on the night.

I guess it depends on your view of the night.


Downside of Independency..

The down side of being independent.

The fear of everyone concluding that you’re so put together that you don’t need anyone else.

I mean everyone knows the point of a relationship is to help one another grow, right?

So, if you have the ability to solve most of your problems without anyone’s  input, then you’r ok.

“You know what you problem is? You don’t need me.”

Wow, I didn’t know that I had to need someone in order to want them around.

It’s a headache, a never ending circle type cycle.

So, why can’t I be self sufficient and just want your company?

Why? Do you need me to fulfil you need of being needed.

You ain’t air, I dont need you to live.

You’re electricity, in the twenty-fourth century.

I work hard to make sure you dont get turned off.

But, since I don’t need you, you think you could just get lost?

Why can’t anyone see that my independency is because I learnt young that people aren’t dependable.

I charish the thought of someone not misunderstanding me.

I dont want to depend on others when I can learn to conqure my situations without any bother to others.

I strive everyday in every way to be self sufficient.

But then, theirs this part of me that naggs, “dont become to whole.”

Because, people believe that if you always got a solution then your this cocky, know it all, wanna be wise, young ass guru.😦

So, I cant just pay attention to others and learn from what I see? 😏

I dont have to experience breaking my bone to know it hurts.

I know what pain is just from living life.

Talk about the down side of being self sufficient.

Why, I got to be broken and needy for someone to stay around?

I enjoy hearing others point of view.

And, I do truly consider other ways of living life.

Its just that most dont know they left from right.

It’s also a struggle to find another self sufficient person that doesn’t want to be needed.

I dont want to be needed, thats like having a grown child.

I want someone that makes me exhale, not inhale and think “now I got to come help you”,  and I’m tired from helping myself.

Maybe its me trying to strive for perfection.

But, what’s wrong with that?

This world be double talking, “you can’t ever stop growing and becoming better.”

Then out the other side say…

“You can’t be perfect”.

I’f I’m not striving for perfection, then what are we growing for?

Well, I dont know about others but, I know self sufficiency is better than dependency.

But that does not mean that I want or need to be alone.

Can we be whole together? 😫😟