In the Beginning was the…..

This place in Time


Have you ever craved a particular kind of music?

But can never find the style that meets your current feeling.

This is something new to me.

I’ve always known what song, what artist, and the exact tempo to play to coincide with my inside yearning.

But as of late, I can’t seem to find a song, artists, or genre to agree with my current space.

I am not a one genre kind of person

I mingle in pop, classical, rap, Rnb, Country, and jazz, Practically everything under the Sun.

But as of right now I struggle to find someone who matches my place in time.

I know tons of songs, but none seem to fit.

They don’t eas my mind and make me think “That’s it!”

I’ve reluctantly come to the conclusion that maybe I’ve grown to another frame of mind.

Including the oldies, all the way back to the twenties up until now.

Nothing, and I mean nothing soothes my soul.

It might be “when you know more, more is required of you” type of phenomenon.

Considering with this feeling came my desire to start my blog and start writing more.

As well as my personal decree to stop watching tv and many other idle things, and replace those moments in time with informative videos, and books.

This is what caused my spiral into watching TEDx talk videos about self-love, how to achieve your goals. I’ve listened to Malcolm Gladwell books, Read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.

Which, has revolutionized my daily expectations in my current life.

I now want more love from myself for myself as well as to others. I don’t want to live stereotypically vague. Working, searching for love, with an internal itch for something more out of my life.

In the moments of these feelings, I have times where I just have the urge to cry.

I don’t particularly think I have many reasons to cry.

I don’t believe myself to be pessimistic just realistic on my outlook on life.

Whatever the cause may be at least I think I know what the effect on myself is going to be.

A part of me does not want to completely leave what I have known and allowed to be my comfort.

But, then the other part of me knows that it will kill me if I never leave these things behind.

I will continue to lay in bed at night and negate the unwise things I let consume my time.

Which leads to my guilt of daily spending my time, resulting in me doing random things at night. Reading, schoolwork, Tedx videos, Research, all because I feel guilty about the things I don’t do in the day.

I want so much more from myself. And I can not wait for someone to come and hold my hand to guide me through this change. This is something that me, myself, and I, has to gird up myself and triumph through.

I know this may seem vague, but for those who understand. You as well should let go.

Let go of whatever you know is no longer good for you.

No matter how long it or they have been your source of comfort, your soul will continue to be dismayed.

I feel the beckoning to change, and I don’t want to criticize myself for not leaving these things behind. They are not the center of the universe. Let alone my world.

  • I will break free from this chain, even though its things that I have attached to myself.
  • I have engaged in my own persecution, mutilation, and subjugation. I knowingly submit myself to people and things.
  • I no longer want this in my life.

As of this moment in time, I am still unsure of the true meaning behind my inability to find music to my taste and be truly engaged in other idle things, tv shows, movies, and futile things, that doesn’t do me any good. I who call myself an adult, feel that I have to be entertained by primordial kinds of paraphernalia.

I’m learning to retrain myself to enjoy at all times things that are truly beneficial to my mind, body, life, and future. I no longer want to want tyrannical  ( pleasures) that are typical; teaching me nothing but how not to trust, bad stereotypical traits of men, women, other races, and even of my next of kin. Its no longer desirable, and I won’t succumb. Replacing them with profitable interests.

I felt that I was suppressing my desire to write, change my daily routine, and attributes of my life, which was a suppression of myself. Inside of this movement that I created, I hope it creates a stampede within myself. So that I will blitz towards truth and true betterment of myself and spirit. Which, will manifest in all aspects of my life.

This place in time.





While thinking, I suddenly thought how warm darkness is.

I assume a good way to get a glimpse into a persons mental state is by asking how they feel about darkness.

And by darkness, I mean discribe your feelings on a deep dark night when you step outside.

When younger, I was scared of the night. My mind would be filled with thoughts of what ifs. (Someone or thing was lurking around waiting to pounce.)🕵️‍♂️

Never taking the time to realish in the beauty of the night.

Quite, peaceful , stillness, and settle soft breezes of wind tickleing my face.

The beauty of the night sky.

Maybe its just me experiencing the warm florida nights.

But, the night is so warm. It just feels just right at times.

It’s quite, my thoughts are loud and clear with no interruption,except from my next train of thought.

Everyone talks about how breathtaking the sky is in day time. Or a tear jurking stary night.

I enjoy the pitch dark nights where you wounder where everything and one is hiding.

Do you go outside at night?

What for?

How does it make you feel?

Please dont be afraid, dont think of the monsters of the day.

Let the night cleans you.

There is beauty in the dark night sky.

Maybe even more than the bright day.

Because the dark sky forces, faith and hope for another day.

Darkness has its own kind of brightness.

We just have to stop to feel it.

It can feel heavy or light, maybe it depends on the night.

I guess it depends on your view of the night.



Type of Blog “About Me and You”

Hello Contradicties, Yes I’m already labeling you as one of my tribe members but that might be another story that you can find out about at my, In The Beginning was the….. story.

Assuming that you are now returning from reading about my beginning, of rising from the ashes and now ascending into greatness( embracing the fact that I’m a contradiction). You’re wondering about the purpose and life behind this blog.

At the end or almost to the end I started talking or we can say talk typing about expecting the unexpected in this blog world. And that “you are not alone there is a tribe of fellow contradicties, who share your struggles, interest, and awesomeness.” ( yes, I just quoted myself.:)

And Yes I will talk about everything and anything on this blog so do not (In my passive aggressive voice :), confine my blog and life to one single category.We contradicties are greater than that, we do not behave like other rigorous, rule-abiding people of the outside.

This blog will be creating a whole new universe in the categories and niche in blogs. It shall be called the Contradicting blogs.


That means I will indulge you in my personal opinions, life lessons and hopeful aspirations.

I hope that every reader and skimmer will learn to enjoy and scroll away with something new from my past and future adventures. I will talk about…

  1. Homeschooling
  2. Hardships of homeschooling(stereotypes)
  3. Natural hair journey
  4. Trying to strive for greatness at a young age
  5. How farming in Florida Aint so Idealistic
  6. How pigs can breed like goats(watch out)
  7. Super Learning
  8. Psychology
  9. Law Internship
  10. How I obtained an internship as a junior in high school
  11. How to analyze people on site
  12. Why I believe you shouldn’t force you kids to go to college
  13.  And many other topics including K-dramas, societies downfall.
  14. Bad jokes that I wouldn’t tell anyone in person.

I have many goals for this blog. The best way to type-scribe ( describe mixed with typing.:) it would have to be a give and take relationship that I hope to build with you, my readers.

I will share your struggles, interest, and awesomeness. I hope we grow together for the good of our well-being as people.

I believe that we should start by fixing individual people first and once the world has more good people then the world can start becoming a better place.

People have a life mission of “making the world a better place”, forgetting that people make up the world.

So, in this blog world, we have a mission to make individual people better thinkers, more knowledgeable, even though I may seem to approach some matters light heatedly. There are going to be times of seriousness, where I type about my serious thoughts and I expect every reader’s honest opinion.  I strive for wisdom, not just knowledge. Meaning that I want to utilize the information I learn not just have it in my head for the basis of a good conversation.

All so that I and all of my readers(currently figments of my imagination) can grow together to greatness. And from here on out this is our home base where you can tell me anything you would like to have me discuss or type about. I will be more than willing to take you up on any journey.

As long as I can, one afford to go on that journey. Unless anyone wants to fund my journey(not really). Then I suggest we stay in our Contradicting world where everything is free and complimentary.

That being way to do it if possible.  Gotta blast! To infinity and beyond! And Hakuna Matata! (It means no worries, you’re a contradiction. 🙂



Love Me Good

Love me,beautiful-bloom-blooming-220566.jpg tinder.

love me long.

Love me till I’m blind to your flaws.

Love me.

Love me unconditionally…

Love me more than you may love yourself.


Recently I have been thinking about love. And all the conditions we apply to love. Every love we claim to have is dripping in contingents. Barricaded and never fully developed. Realizing that love is not conditional. It is just truly wanting the best for that person whether they want, except, reciprocate, or acknowledges your existence.

Waiting on the world to change !

Some wait on the world to change.

Others try to force the world to change.

By going against the grain, standing up for what they believe and condemning those who judge their book by the cover.

And then there’s those who want the world to change.

Internal critiques they are, of the world and those who judge them by their appearances.

They are similar to those who go against the grain of the world. But they have a different tactic of changing people’s biases.

“If the worlds going to judge me off of my appearance and body language. Then I’ll learn what they think is good, and exhibit those qualities.”

Just to lower their guard’s in listening to what I have to say.

I truly respect the bravery of the open revolutionaries. But, you’re easily spotted, and then ostracized.

Now you are limited to whom you will change.

Lots of women say, how they hate having to wear clothes because men can’t keep their eyes and hands to themselves.  And how quickly we get labeled a hoe for wearing revealing clothes.

Yes, I understand that you are not necessarily a hoe or slut for wearing revealing clothes.

But darlings you cant change a definition and history in a day hoes in one day. The main characteristics signs will remain the same they’ll just say you dress like a hoe. and be one exception to the rule

The world and its stigmas have existed centuries before your great-grandmother. And here you are going against the grain.

I understand the desire to be out of the box.

But I haven’t the heart or patients to live life this way.

I applaud those who fearlessly wage the war.

I’ve decided to live my life a little less than great.

I rather play the game. Look inside the box and gravel when they realize that I’m more than my appearance.

I know the world judges books by their covers and why shouldn’t we.

Everyone except those less fortunate have the time to decide on their appearance. Being raised and aware of groups and acceptable fashion and demeanor. Fit the bill, or be confined to misconceptions of you.

I enjoy looking pure and innocent, quiet and having not much of an opinion. But beware once you spark my fire its one hot hell.

Start a conversation and the revolutionary in me become ablaze. I refuse stupidity and just plain ignorance. Everyone is entitled to their opinions but soon the truth comes out. And with a respectable personal it smooths them a bit out.

Fight fire with fire, or bend it back and tarnish their beliefs.

Let them get all choked up and enraged, and softly reply back.

Some wait on the world to change.

Others pave the way.

Then there’s those who gently suggest a change.

Those who play the game.

Get played by the game.

And then who refuse the game’s existence.

I rather play the game then get played, and I dont beat on dead horses.

People change when they want to , very few are oblivious to their wronge. Most indulge in it for what ever reason they see fit.

Like a soft autome breeze.

Tropical hurrican storm.

Then theres the Sun on a rainy day.

God mad seasons and the whether to change. Just like people everone has their season that fits their personality type. Maybe I’ll gow into a tropical storm. I once waited on the world to change. Now I’m in between.

Who knows, in a few years I may rage like Katrina, or even Galveston from 1900 the deadliets hurrican in the American history. But I do know that I’m not wiating on this world to change. What about you? Whats your season and whether condition?

Common Sense

Now that I am older and more attentive I’ve realized some crucial facts. Reshaping my life. Making me value my childhood and the care my parents put into raising my siblings and myself properly. Recently while examining my sister and two brothers and a few my own life experiences now that we’re all adults.

Common Sense is not as common as it said to be.

My sister and I were having a conversation about how our parents raised us to be aware and respectful of common sense, reality and whats right. To be simple my parents inforced logic upon us.

  • Teaching us that feelings do not out way truth.
  • That we should be able to reason outside of our feelings.
  • State how we feel in a calm way.
  • Discuss differences without getting heated.
  • Accept the truth, and let the lie go.
  • But all parents don’t seem to raise their children with these rules

Somehow others either abandoned this teaching, their children threw it out the window. And stomped all over it. Because the people that I’ve met in my life have been the most illogical people on the planet.

One conversation that will always come to mind. One of my sister’s friends and I was conversing about homeschooling. The pros and cons, including the misconceptions about homeschooling and public school.

I don’t think I stated this but I’m one of the few to have been homeschooled. But not for all of my education. I started at 6th-grade entering middle school. So I believe that I have a decent perspective on schooling.

In our conversation, it was Missouri trying to inform this gentleman that public schools waste a ton of students time every day. Barely making process in teaching and then throwing them into college. After babying them for years.

America’s nagging problem with college dropouts managed to get worse this year. The National Student Clearinghouse reports that 55 percent of first-time undergraduates who matriculated in the fall of 2008 finished a degree within six years, versus 56.1 percent of those who began in fall 2007.

U.S. high school graduation rate is up — but there’s a warning label attached. President Obama has been talking up the newly released U.S. high school graduation rate of 83.2 percent, with the White House noting in an announcement that the rate has grown by about four percentage points since the 2010-2011 school year.

homeschool students scored exceptionally high on test scores, in the 80th percentile, in comparison with the public school average of the 50th percentile.

Also, a study was done in 1997, of 5,402 homeschool students showed that on average, their scores were 30-37 percentile points higher than their public school counterparts. The study also showed that the longer a child was homeschooled the better the score was. For example, a first-year homeschool student scored in the 59th percentile, while a student homeschooled two or more years prior to taking the test score in the 86th to 92nd percentile (

A study published in July 2010, by Dr. Michael Cogan, studied homeschool students at one Mid-west college. While this small study won’t have the reaching impact of a larger study, here are his findings.

  • The homeschool students had a slightly higher retention rate, 88.6% compared to the counterpart at 87.6%.
  • There was a higher graduation rate for homeschooled students (66.7% compared to the counterpart at 57.5%).
  • The homeschooled students came in with a higher ACT score (25.0 compared to 14.7).
  • Slightly higher Grade Point Averages were held throughout the college years by the homeschooled students. (Fourth year previously homeschooled college students had a 3.46 average compared to the previously traditionally schooled students at 3.16).

He simply refused the option of homeschooling his daughter because he was afraid she wouldn’t have good social skills.

This is how our conversation went.

“Do you think I have bad social skills?”

No, but others do and she might.”

“Have you meet any homeschooled students before who lacked social skills?”


“Have you ever even meet a homeschooled student before?”


And this is where I knew this conversation was over, it was pointless to continue. I said mind and I tried. He simply could not acknowledge the advantage he would give his daughter by homeschooling her.

I was amazed that this was his biggest concern when he could simply take his child to the park and let her socialize, join social groups sports. ( And I know this does not reflect all public schoolers. This is just a literal conversation that bugged me about less than sensible people)

But these facts are a little besides my point. The guy could not and simply would not accept that homeschool students start off life at an advantage while public students don’t.

They have less time to volunteer for scholarships, internships, and part-time jobs to gain real-world experiences. To travel, and to simply go outside.

I learned from this conversation that everyone ain’t trying to live their lives with sense.

If someone is about to present something to me and it make s sense, why deny its existence. What because it goes against what I thought to be true, and what makes me feel good?

No thank you.

Sense, logic, reasoning, and facts are synonyms to my definition of life. wi=hich equal evolving. Learning through experiences. I don’t have to break my wrist to find out that it hurts, I’ll listen to others and not get hurt.

You take the pain and I’ll make the gain.

There’s no point in the both of us being in the ditch.

You trip now I know to jump.

And that’s life. But not everyone lives accordingly. They believe falling, struggling is what makes them strong. But baby I don’t need the battle scars. It ain’t about just being alive, it’s about being wise, and avoiding a ditch so I try to open my eyes.

Now I know that Common Sense ain’t as common as I was told.

Savory Brown Spice


You make me feel asthmatic.

Faint of heart, at the same time it feels to big for my chest.

It swells, pauses, and skips to a beat just for you.

When you suddenly frown.


I could count my pulse without touching my skin when he comes close.

Even the bottom of his feet has a honey glow.

His abdomen firm as a drum.

Your back welcomes me home.

Your kiss, sweet as a mango warmed by the Islands sun.

Jazz, calypso, reggae, Reggaeton and my favorite soca song.

He’s my inner rhythm with no need for the Blues.

Rnb cant compose a song to express his moves.

But if I would choose one it would be Smokey Robison Cruise.

Gliding to our unspoken toon.

Your a savory brown spice.

Sprinkled all over my life.



Crimson spell

Rose, in the evening

Scarlet was the letter.

Currant, were her words.

Blush, within her sigh.

Apple, was her iris.

Peacock, threaded tide.

Coral, upon the sand.

minty was the ocean band.

pistachio etched the sky.

Melencoly or blue was apart of her spell.


Tinted cry.

percolate, rise, and swell; bloody rage,Garnet, ruby, fire now in her gaze.

Amber,was her name.

Crimson was the spell.

Scarlet were his words etched upon her heart.

Monkey, was the year of her lapis frosty lover.


Honey Drizzled….

This man…

Honey glazed.

Serendipity filling me just from his gaze.

Bemoaning from the depths of my soul.

Fierce from the top of his head to the tips of his toes.

Warm like a blazing fire on a winter mountain top.

Sugary smile, in his taunting, sultry way.

Eyes the center of the universe.

Gravitational pull, all in the palm of his hands.

Querer. My desire.

No more words to describe the glory found in him.

Silent admiration.

of his.

Honey drizzled skin.

I see him.

He see’s me.

It’s not just eye contact it’s our breath shared in sync.

Comfort in my soul.

nearer than kin.

Not a dream but reality we share.

My man and his honey drizzled skin.



Mountains We Climb

Today was a wonderful day. Not because everything went perfectly, because it was not what I would call a perfect day. For the past two months, I have been on the job hunt. And I don’t know if you know but the job hunt in 2018 is the real deal Hunger Games, similar to a battlefield.

Everybody’s trying to survive but there can only be one winner. And in the game of interviews, especially group interviews you see and meet people who are excellent candidates for the job but nonetheless you wish them to fail. And for yourself to succeed and land the job. ( OR maybe its just me?


Not. I’m just the only one willing to say how I feel.)

But this is a little besides my point. These past few months I have been slightly struggling within. And yes this ties back into my self-love mantra. Because I struggle with perfection and where I aspire to be in my life and in all honesty that’s why I need self-love. And jumping into the job hunt mad me vulnerable. (Referring to my mental state)

Telling people that I quit my job and explaining the situation to my family.(Although they were and are very supportive) I still have this fear that they’re judging me about my decisions.

So, all of this ties into prayer. Well as I was told in my childhood prayer is a powerful tool/weapon and shield.

I took advantage of my vulnerability and dived into prayer, vigilantly. In a more aggressive and sincere way than I had ever done.

I prayed about quitting my job.

I prayed about when to quit my job.

I prayed for a specific sign so that I would feel at ease about quitting my job.

And my whole job quitting story is serious and another story for another Tuesday purge.

In this prayer journey, I have learned not what to pray for, but what not to pray for.

In my past, I have prayed for some crazy things. ( My past prayer sessions were more of pleadings/begging for something like a spoiled child) But we grow and thank God I did.

Things I have prayed for are below:

  1. For a specific job. Got the job and it was hell.
  2. For my parents to die because my life would be easier. ( I was young don’t judge me too hard. come on you so have never prayed for God to kill someone before? Right, I don’t believe you. Lol

Which is not accurate. I have so many family members, I would never see an adoption agency or foster care, it’s crazy to think that was my plan.

I’m truly grateful that God ignored me and then occasionally answered just to teach me how wrong I was to ask.

Jumping back to the present.

I quit my job as a salesperson to jump into the legal field. I had a year internship at a law office. But for some reason had never applied to jobs in the legal field, because I was scared of rejection. Telling myself it was hard enough for a high schooler to get an Internship let alone a job.

So I quit my job and started searching for any company that would give me the opportunity to plant some roots in their office for an hourly wage exchange.

This is also where I mad the change and stated morning affirmations. Because I realized that I needed to force myself to start my days off positively. Affirming myself, refusing negativity. I also meditated for 20 minutes every morning on peace.

This was mind-numbing in the most positive way possible. I forced out my inner fears and replaced them with what I wanted to manifest in my life.

Another self-treatment that I applied was utilizing my journal. Documenting my day when it was hard. When I felt depressed and just simply bummed.

I wrote my emotions. My actions, and what thoughts and fears caused me to think or act the way I did for the day. Did my actions and thoughts bother me? Then I answered myself.

By breaking down my emotions it allowed me to allow myself to understand my emotions better.

Example: If I was upset with and had an attitude for the day and responded harshly to something someone said to me. I wrote down my response. What I did before it happens. What I was thinking before., And How I was feeling. How did I feel after the situation? What was my true reason for my action?

With me writing it down it some how allows me to see mysef in a personal unpersonal way thats understanding and accepting of myself. At the end I tell myself that my emotions are normal and natural. But my gaol is to notice and track my limits. And control and stop unwanted actions, thoughts, and feelings.

In my two months of job hunting, I was struggling with my self-worth. I was landing interviews but for some reason no callbacks.

At first, having the interviews lined up was enough to give me confidence that I did the right thing about quit my job. If I didn’t have the qualifications I wouldn’t even get an interview.

But why was I not getting the job?

This is when my prayer went into overdrive. I was doubting my decision, thinking I was crazy to give this a try. And I should just try to get a job in customer service or something easy and attainable.

I had to learn that even though I made the right decision to search for a job in my desired field, doesn’t mean I will land a job in a week. And that’s alright. Even if and God forbid, I don’t get a job at least I tried and applied myself. Instead of doubting and blocking my opportunity.

If I don’t get the job that I want right this moment then that means I was not meant to have the job right this moment. So I stepped back and hit my target from another angle, harder and pressed on.

I revamped my resume. And revised my cover letter. Saught advice from job counslers. And steemed torward my next line up of interviews.


After three months of job hunting suddenly in a week, I needed to relocate to another place. It is a good thing I didn’t get a job because I would have been torn to leave it and move.

Moving to  St.Thomas V.I. And staying with my grandparents, was huge for me. They needed my help and I was jobless. (Thankfully) And was able to freely make this life change.

While talking to my grandmother she started telling me about this wonderful lady who she has always relied upon to pray for her. No matter where this lady happens to be when she calls she will pray with her. And I seriously am in awe of this.

I want to be a feverant prayer. For others, now that I feel that I’ve learned how to pray for myself. (cocky of me, right)

I’m on a jorney of climbing a mountain of prayer.

Summary of my Mountain climbing Adventure: Three ways to Climb


  • Pray, for whats best for me and not for what I think I need/want.
  • I pray that I find my place and I succeed even though it will be hard. I pray that I become kind, gentle, meek, and humble and that I learn to have joy in my struggles.
  • Because life is filled with suffering. And God doesn’t promise to get rid of that, only to hold my hand, to make me feel better.
  • To pray for boldness, and not short selling myself in life.
  • To be patient and know that God will give me the desires of my heart in due time.(Whenever that may be.)  🙂
  • “Try to keep my head held high, and teach my feet not be in such a hurry”



  1. 20 minutes each morning
  2. listening to my heart beat, breath intake, and and body functions and sounds.
  3. Trying to find a deep quiteness
  4. ignoring all distractons
  5. Listening with my eyes closed trying to distinguesh the sounds around me.
  6. Saying thanks for a new day.


Morning Affirmations

I shared my monthy affirmations and how I affirm myself. And I add my monthly scripture to also recite every morning.

  1. I am smart
  2. I will work diligetly and never give up.
  3. I can do anything with hardwork
  4. Apply myself and I will succeed.
  5. I will be kind to everyone I see including myself today.
  6. Each breath feels me with an abundance of sunshine and peace.


Affirme Me!

If we were all alloted a penney for every thought that negatively portrayed ourselves.

I’ll never get this job.

I’m terribly stupid when it comes to math.

I don’t believe that I’ll pass this quartly review, except by the skin of my teeth.

Lord knows I’m not adequately prepared.

Yeah right..

As if…

Mmmm, you know your over extending yourself by trying out.

Each time I allow this brain to recite and digest words, phrases. All undermining my own success.

Belittling myself, selling oneself short.

Wouldnt we all be filthy rich?

No man would suffer except from within.

If our wealth would increase in exchange for terrible words.

As if this is true we tear down ourselves. Never benefiting from the words we preach.

Quite the opposite is in affect.

Affirm and uplift.

Why do our ill words out way the positive?

I reciently gained insight on the power of reciting morning affirmations. Even though my mother made them mandetory when I was a child. I foolishly grew away from boldly uplifting myself.

I took the time at the beginning of this month to write out my morning affirmations for the month of February and my scripture of the month. They are plastered on my wall next to my bed.

I encourage everone to make or at least memorize affirmations; that you can recite routinely when you feel down. Or when you catch yourself being negative and self-abating.

  1. I have an abundance of energy today.
  2. I am free of pain today.
  3. Today is my day.
  4. Today I will change my life.
  5. I am strong
  6. I am beautiful.
  7. I am loved
  8. Unlimited energy will fill me today.
  9. Today I am a magnet for ideas.
  10. I will be a giver of love today.
  11. The sunrisr fills me with confidence.
  12. Whatever challenges come my way I can over comethem.
  13. Today I will ovetcome and grow.
  14. I will be a better person today.
  15. I will help someone today.
  16. I love who I see in the mirror.
  17. Success will find me today.
  18. I am greatful for another day to shine.
  19. Today is full of possibilities.
  20. I will be fearless today.

Scripture for February: Psalms 139. 23-24

Search me O Lord, and know my heaet; try my heart, and know my thoughts.

And see if there be any wicked way in me and lead me in the way everlasting.

I say this every morning. 😊😄 calling and envoking happiness and self proclaimed success in my life. To the least for that day.

Shout out to Pintrest for the inspiration for this months affirmations.


Unable to think about what my mind has not thought about.

What do you do if you dont naturally question your surroundings?

Anger, I get mad, saddened, and let down when someone brings up a very good topic.

That I have yet to think about.

Why didnt I think about this?

How come, I never thought about this from their perspective?

What blocked or hindered my mind from questioining what I have been taught?





But I do beilve thats the beautfy of humanity.

Forging realationships and interactions to make us whole. Completly challenging each other in our professed “realities”.

Daring one another to break the mold and think outside the box that we were cracked into. From and egg and fried in our parents and societies convictions.

If I alone could think of the millions of world creation variables. Then why need or want companionship?

Relations and family losses its value and vertue.

Nonetheless, my natural first impulse is dissapointment.

Why was I not first to think of what makes the sun feel hot?

So many world questions, I can’t possibly consider and digest them all.

Oh, what beauty is found in mankind.

Showing and communing with each other.

Sparking ideas and creativity in each others eyes.

I and many others would be lost without our fellow man.

This is what makes us human.





All true essesnce of beautiful mankind.


Oh what beaustiful thoughts,concepts and beliefs

At least we think and ponder and scheme.

Searching for something to believe.

Whether its spontanious combustion into this beautiful fine earth.

To a higher, smarter, diligent God. Gracing us all with a mind to think and ponder our existence.


Has anyone ever noticed that our society is shallow? We advertise and are attracted to things that seem magical.

Lose weight in a blink of an eye. Magic

Put this cream on your face and poof.  No more wrinkles.

I suddenly realized that we promote incompetence and magic.

Magic does not exist we just don’t know the exact properties and steps that causes things to happen. And instead of explaining or learning we just put the word magic, fast and spontaneous.

Example: Lose weight fast by drinking apple cider vinegar three times a day in a 12-ounce glass of water. Lose as much as 20 pounds in a month.

This is what we would call advertisement and or apealing to the senses. Or the real explanation is Pathos, Ethos, and Logos. Advertisement one on one.

  1. Pathos: an emotional appeal typically positive.
  2. Ethos: Establishes credibility for the product.
  3. Logos: useful practical information.

I myself, have been found guilty of this very thing. I use apple cider vinegar to lose weight and I tell other people about this benefit as well. So many people and videos can be found on this one product. It’s also common knowledge that apple cider vinegar aids in weight loss. But how many people know why and how?

It turns out that there was a study on apple cider vinegar….

An apple cider vinegar weight-loss plan affects how blood sugar is regulated, according to a study by Carol Johnston, Ph.D., at Arizona State University. “Her research provides evidence that drinking vinegar before eating actually led to a decrease in change of blood glucose post meals,” says Tanya Zuckerbrot MS, RD, New York City-based registered dietitian, best-selling author, and founder of The F-Factor Diet. “Drinking apple cider vinegar before a carbohydrate-filled meal can reduce blood sugar spikes that would usually occur after eating.”


Now, this is true information, and without me knowing exactly what is expected to happen inside of my body when I drink apple cider vinegar. I am bound to have unrealistic expectations. And then when this product does not add up to the hype of the magical properties of apple cider vinegar. I and many others conclude that this was false information.  The above information aids in me knowing how much of a magical weight loss I can expect. What are the boundaries of this advertised weight loss remedy?

Our society criticises those who know so much and seek so much information as abnormal and odd. But I beg to differ, these rare folks are truly beautiful. Because they have not succumbed to societies pressures to rob the mind of knowledge. And willingly swallow half-baked goods.

I once consider myself knowledgeable about many things but now that I truly think about the things that I know. I know the result but not the steps of how. And who was the first to discover things and or who was the person, company, country to make this a fact?

I have a new desire for true knowledge and information. I want to know how my wireless computer mouse works. How my cell phone is able to communicate to someone in another part of town.

And I implore others to explore the deep depths of information. Find out why their stomach aches when they have dairy products at 3am. And not simply conclude that they may be slightly lactose intolerant. While never truly knowing what lactose is or the true reasons a person can seem or actually be intolerant to lactose.


I hope everyone enjoyed this Off The Dome Tuesday kind of post. Feel free to like, follow and most of all comment. And tell me the most recent thing you neglected to truly learn about.


link to the research about apple cider vinegar

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