While thinking, I suddenly thought how warm darkness is.

I assume a good way to get a glimpse into a persons mental state is by asking how they feel about darkness.

And by darkness, I mean discribe your feelings on a deep dark night when you step outside.

When younger, I was scared of the night. My mind would be filled with thoughts of what ifs. (Someone or thing was lurking around waiting to pounce.)🕵️‍♂️

Never taking the time to realish in the beauty of the night.

Quite, peaceful , stillness, and settle soft breezes of wind tickleing my face.

The beauty of the night sky.

Maybe its just me experiencing the warm florida nights.

But, the night is so warm. It just feels just right at times.

It’s quite, my thoughts are loud and clear with no interruption,except from my next train of thought.

Everyone talks about how breathtaking the sky is in day time. Or a tear jurking stary night.

I enjoy the pitch dark nights where you wounder where everything and one is hiding.

Do you go outside at night?

What for?

How does it make you feel?

Please dont be afraid, dont think of the monsters of the day.

Let the night cleans you.

There is beauty in the dark night sky.

Maybe even more than the bright day.

Because the dark sky forces, faith and hope for another day.

Darkness has its own kind of brightness.

We just have to stop to feel it.

It can feel heavy or light, maybe it depends on the night.

I guess it depends on your view of the night.


Type of Blog “What type of blog is this supposed to be?”

Hello Contradicties, Yes I’m already labeling you as one of my tribe members but that might be another story that you can find out about at my, In The Beginning was the….. story.

Assuming that you are now returning from reading about my beginning, of rising from the ashes and now ascending into greatness( embracing the fact that I’m a contradiction). You’re wondering about the purpose and life behind this blog.

At the end or almost to the end I started talking or we can say talk typing about expecting the unexpected in this blog world. And that “you are not alone there is a tribe of fellow contradicties, who share your struggles, interest, and awesomeness.” ( yes, I just quoted myself.:)

And Yes I will talk about everything and anything on this blog so do not (In my passive aggressive voice :), confine my blog and life to one single category.We contradicties are greater than that, we do not behave like other rigorous, rule-abiding people of the outside.

This blog will be creating a whole new universe in the categories and niche in blogs. It shall be called the Contradicting blogs.


That means I will indulge you in my personal opinions, life lessons and hopeful aspirations.

I hope that every reader and skimmer will learn to enjoy and scroll away with something new from my past and future adventures. I will talk about…

  1. Homeschooling
  2. Hardships of homeschooling(stereotypes)
  3. Natural hair journey
  4. Trying to strive for greatness at a young age
  5. How farming in Florida Aint so Idealistic
  6. How pigs can breed like goats(watch out)
  7. Super Learning
  8. Psychology
  9. Law Internship
  10. How I obtained an internship as a junior in high school
  11. How to analyze people on site
  12. Why I believe you shouldn’t force you kids to go to college
  13.  And many other topics including K-dramas, societies downfall.
  14. Bad jokes that I wouldn’t tell anyone in person.

I have many goals for this blog. The best way to type-scribe ( describe mixed with typing.:) it would have to be a give and take relationship that I hope to build with you, my readers.

I will share your struggles, interest, and awesomeness. I hope we grow together for the good of our well-being as people.

I believe that we should start by fixing individual people first and once the world has more good people then the world can start becoming a better place.

People have a life mission of “making the world a better place”, forgetting that people make up the world.

So, in this blog world, we have a mission to make individual people better thinkers, more knowledgeable, even though I may seem to approach some matters light heatedly. There are going to be times of seriousness, where I type about my serious thoughts and I expect every reader’s honest opinion.  I strive for wisdom, not just knowledge. Meaning that I want to utilize the information I learn not just have it in my head for the basis of a good conversation.

All so that I and all of my readers(currently figments of my imagination) can grow together to greatness. And from here on out this is our home base where you can tell me anything you would like to have me discuss or type about. I will be more than willing to take you up on any journey.

As long as I can, one afford to go on that journey. Unless anyone wants to fund my journey(not really). Then I suggest we stay in our Contradicting world where everything is free and complimentary.

That being way to do it if possible.  Gotta blast! To infinity and beyond! And Hakuna Matata! (It means no worries, you’re a contradiction. 🙂



How to Heal Childhood Wounds

Part two
Male Masculinity and Relationships



Written by Eric C., MA., PhD Candidate | Mental Health Professional

I wanted to share with you a system that I use in my private practice. My mentor and supervisor Dr. Judy Rosenberg (PSY #PSY14817) developed this psycho-educational model for psychotherapy. The Mind Map™ is a very easy-to-use and powerful tool for illustrating how the wounds of childhood were delivered, embedded and manifested into present day. It illuminates for us exactly what to do about it.

The “Be the Cause” MIND MAP™ for Healing Human Disconnect identifies the original wound of the parent/child disconnect. At the heart of the Be the Cause System is the Mind Map™, which is designed to take you from the problem, through the process and to the solution. There are 9 Panels, organized into 3 rows from left to right and from top to bottom. Think of these panels as stages that you will travel through on your…

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Downside of Independency..

The down side of being independent.

The fear of everyone concluding that you’re so put together that you don’t need anyone else.

I mean everyone knows the point of a relationship is to help one another grow, right?

So, if you have the ability to solve most of your problems without anyone’s  input, then you’r ok.

“You know what you problem is? You don’t need me.”

Wow, I didn’t know that I had to need someone in order to want them around.

It’s a headache, a never ending circle type cycle.

So, why can’t I be self sufficient and just want your company?

Why? Do you need me to fulfil you need of being needed.

You ain’t air, I dont need you to live.

You’re electricity, in the twenty-fourth century.

I work hard to make sure you dont get turned off.

But, since I don’t need you, you think you could just get lost?

Why can’t anyone see that my independency is because I learnt young that people aren’t dependable.

I charish the thought of someone not misunderstanding me.

I dont want to depend on others when I can learn to conqure my situations without any bother to others.

I strive everyday in every way to be self sufficient.

But then, theirs this part of me that naggs, “dont become to whole.”

Because, people believe that if you always got a solution then your this cocky, know it all, wanna be wise, young ass guru.😦

So, I cant just pay attention to others and learn from what I see? 😏

I dont have to experience breaking my bone to know it hurts.

I know what pain is just from living life.

Talk about the down side of being self sufficient.

Why, I got to be broken and needy for someone to stay around?

I enjoy hearing others point of view.

And, I do truly consider other ways of living life.

Its just that most dont know they left from right.

It’s also a struggle to find another self sufficient person that doesn’t want to be needed.

I dont want to be needed, thats like having a grown child.

I want someone that makes me exhale, not inhale and think “now I got to come help you”,  and I’m tired from helping myself.

Maybe its me trying to strive for perfection.

But, what’s wrong with that?

This world be double talking, “you can’t ever stop growing and becoming better.”

Then out the other side say…

“You can’t be perfect”.

I’f I’m not striving for perfection, then what are we growing for?

Well, I dont know about others but, I know self sufficiency is better than dependency.

But that does not mean that I want or need to be alone.

Can we be whole together? 😫😟



Deceleration of Independence 🤗

Don’t we all grow up hearing this cliche from wise people; “you will never be successful in a relationship until you learn to love yourself or understand yourself.”

Yep, we’ve all heard this a million times and until the other day, I thought that I did truly love myself.

But then as I was watching this TEDx video about marriage I discovered that I needed to marry myself.

And I thought; what is this three time married and divorced woman talking about! Marry myself 😐.

Then I took into consideration of how short this speech was and decided to at least give my undivided and nonprejudice attention.

Wow, what a decision that was. I am happy that I took the time to listen to this lady and my conclusion is as follows. 😄

I had to love myself exactly where I was financial, mentally, and spiritually. I thought that since I knew I was beautiful physically and a little bit more than fiscally, then I loved myself.

I was not one of the people to whom this saying was attributed to.

But while watching, I learned that I didn’t love myself unconditionally. For the worst and ugly truth. This part of ourselves we suppress from a very young age.

Through sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, and until death do us apart.

I realized that I loved or found value in myself solely based upon conditions; my aspirations of my future self.

Not for who I was currently, but for who I was striving to become.

And that my friends are not unconditional let alone basic love.


So, while watching this video this lady went on about how she married thrice and left all her husbands because after three to four years she felt unhappy and unsatisfied.

Talk about the horror story to our supposedly happy ever afters.😣

She spent her life looking for someone else to complete her, instead of herself being a whole person and the other person a companion to herself.

We all have been bamboozled, male and females into thinking that we need another person to complete us, or to make us feel loved.

When this is not the case, we have to love ourselves first and then we can love others not just our significant other but everyone we come into contact with.

Now, getting to the point of this post. I made a new declaration and discovery.


Declaration of Independence:

1. From others and now to a dependency to Myself

2. That from this day forward I will love myself wholeheartedly and unconditionally. I will no longer be dependent upon others. Truely indulging in my redefined dependency upon my current self.

3. For better or for worse. Through sickness and in health. For who I am right now and not for who I want to be. Even if I never reach any and I mean any of my dreams and or asperations.

4. I will love myself for myself and not for anyone else. I love myself just for wanting to love myself.

5. I take me myself and I to be my lawfully wedded (partner in life ), to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death does us part.


Our society teaches a false or partial self-love. We have to stop wondering how other people feel about us.

And consider how we feel about them, not the other way around. You are not the center of attention but they or the world is your center of attention.

With this new mindset,  we can all reach or maintain that young or old self-awareness. Elders and really young children know this but somewhere in between, we lose this self-dedication.

So here comes the cliche line, Join me in my new found journey to self love. :/

No, really do join me this will be great and more than worth it, because (in a whispering loud voice) we may end up alone.

Not everyone finds that special someone or has the time. But even those people might not know how to properly love themselves. 🙂



Pictograph – Ish is where I will take single pictures and turn them into stories. I will start off with ones I have chosen and then ones that you recommend. Pics You can send me and I’ll tell a story or something funny from the picture.

Similar to “Prompt Me I Dare You!” but with no words only pictures. It can be poetry, long or short. It’s your picture and my new prompt so tell me the rules and I’ll be sure to comply.

I’m at your will but please don’t imply the impossible.

Well, why not, it’s not like failure is a bad thing at least we tried.

Once a month on a spectacular day it will be a surprise, so stay tuned in or you might miss the time.

When you can watch me pool through ideas. Now, this is a first come first served kind of deal.

And whatever your number is, is based upon how swift you can hit send.

Because then I will be forced to never renege.  🙂

Get Off The Road Let’s walk down this path together.


Jump off this mountain and run towards our dreams and dance the night away. 🙂

Pictograph-Ish is the Term. And it’s here to stay! 😮

Off the Dome Tuesday: Relationships

Relationships are a funny thing, you never really know the true condition of them until your either upset or its to late and their broken.

You can not guess what the other person thinks of your actions. What you may consider a kind remark. Can be interpreted as a cynical remark.

You will also never know the true condition until you ask.

You get this feeling that its time we had a talk, so you muster up the courage to express your self through words and not just thought.

Slowly and diligently you stroll through words and phrases trying not to be poetic but sincere and empathetic. All to make sure that the other truly understands you!

In these moments talking is not the point, its listening.

And as the saying goes, We all probably had this one said to us or said it about another.

“Don’t listen for the purpose of answering, listen to understand.”

Because once you listen properly you most likely wont have anything to say.

The signs of a true listener is silence.

  • Silence while someone is talking.
  • Silence after they are finished.
  • And then silence so that you can think

Silence is the best medicine for a hurting , misunderstood, neglected heart and or relationship.

Silence is a safety net, so that the listener can make sure the speaker has the chance to say all that their heart has wanted to say.

because, remember the purpose is to have a conversation.

A conversation is a give and take.

A push and pull.

Silence cannot last forever, there has to come a time were we speak.

But silence gives us the strength to say the words that are hard to say.

It gives us the time, to let go of unwanted emotions and pains.

Nonetheless we have to talk.

We have to properly communicate, and we have to navigate our minds and learn to negotiate.

In these moments we seek clarification.

Clarifications of what? You may ask.

  1. Clarification of our hearts
  2. clarification of our minds
  3. Clarify our misunderstandings
  4. And most of all to clarify our emotions.

As I stated in the beginning its time we had a talk about this relationship. And how you feel about how I talk, walk, my facial expressions, and my body language and demeanor.

All these things are important, and we read them.

Relationships, some we love some we despise and others we just don’t think will survive.

We take them for granted, we think they should let us slid.

Everyone has feelings and need to be shown some concern.

As Dr.Seuss said “No matter the shape and size” well you can guess the rest but its not really needed here.

No matter the shape and size of the relationship and person we all need silence and thoughtful conversations. Where we can listen and be listened to about how we feel.

Its not mushy,emotional or surreal. It’s a known fact that we just haven’t applied.

Now the question why, well I think we should save that for another time.

This was an
Off the Dome Tuesday Kinda Post. 🙂

I hope this inspires you to take the time to listen and to be listened to.

To show concern so it will be shown back to you. 🙂




Contradictions lets embrace them because they can make us great as individual people leading to a better world!!