An Amaranthine Love

A loud thunderstorm and a soft translucent rain.

Comparable to good loving.

A deep warm hug.

A tender kiss

A delicious meal.

Soft rain stirs my soul deeply into ustulation.

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Washing away my continuous growth of nemesism; from past and present days.

I feel like rain is a sign from God that we need to mindfully redintegrate our souls.

In one sentence the rain dirls my heart, mind, and soul.

I wonder if anyone else feels this way about the rain.

Please tell me you do?

That you experience theses ineffable feelings when the sky cries.

Either 1,2, 3, or 4 moods bewitch me.

  1. A deep euphoric sleep.
  2. Rapturous energy serges; fixing all melancholy in my eyes before the thunderstorm. Reminding me that my time is short and to be happy I have breath in my lungs. No matter my frustrations the rain renews my joy. It signals an unspoken promise that’s etched across my heart. ( Have joy in the midst of this worlds sorrow!)
  3. Equanimity; a yearning to stop all things and meditate.

Seek out calmness. Composure, of breath and watch the rain fall down my windows as I drive. Upon my skin, starting with the palms of my hands. Praying to be cleansed, as I reach out and over my porch.

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4. A deep mourning. I cry for No other reason than to let out emotions sometimes. Can’t pinpoint it to anger or frustration. The rain just calls me to cry and both sing sometimes. I don’t know if I’m crying for lost souls or for my soon to come frustration once the rain stops. But I can say it’s from the heart, slow and one by one. As if the result of each and every thought I hold dear.

Hopefully, it’s not just me, although me and rain we go way back.

We will always share our amaranthine Love.

Even in death, I’ll welcome it to my corpse.

Fall on my grave top, seep and penetrate my tomb.

Oh, how I love rain.

And he loves me too.

Diligently and sweet…

Through heartache and grief…

Rain sweeps me off of my feet.

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Mortgaged Time

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No time. why do we feel like we don’t have the time to advocate for things and people that we believe are important?

  •  Primed to mortgage our time on superficial occupations.

We live out our days on this earth going to school religiously to get our ideal job. Then we date frantically to find our harmonious spouse. And then we squabble vehemently to provide for our perfect family.

  • There is never enough time for everything.

With careers, schooling, and families, plus our necessary leisure time to rejuvenate. There is never enough time to do the things we know are important but are convinced has no benefit other than emotional gratification.

 

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Warning made up the following scenario:

Everyday Janet drives to work at her local DMV center. In her routine day, she realizes that customers are complaining about how the new law requires them to have the best car insurance financially possible. They have to submit a portfolio of their income and expenses. Proving that they’re spending the most they can afford. All in hopes of decreasing the number of underinsured drivers being sued during car accident claim disputes.

Janet can relate with the clients that this is invasive, and she complains to clients daily. Janet also talks about the new requirement with her coworkers. Although Janet is aware of the impeachments of American citizens rights. She has the thought of not only complaining but to jump into action; she tells herself she hasn’t the time to look into the validity of her feelings. Nor does she believe her protesting will be pervasive in changing the new requirement.

  • No longer complaining but acting.

“Small steps equal huge Journies”

 

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You do not have to abandon your job, family and leisure time to be an advocate against world problems. Somehow we have contrived in our minds and applied these thoughts to our schedule that it takes so much time and long spurts of effort to succeed.

  1. Janet only needs to commit thirty minutes a day on her lunch break to look into how to go about changing laws as a citizen of Little Rock.
  2. Make a list of what she thinks is required to change the new law.
  3. What constitutes “illegal law practices”?
  4. How have people in the past changed laws that were voted into everyday play?

The more she knows and looks into answering her questions, the less she will feel her desired end result is impossible for her to accomplish.

  • Praise and Envy to the Devoted Protesters/Advocates.

Deep within us, we can acknowledge the praiseworthiness of people who will advocate and not only complain about problems in life. Secret Envy of individuals who dedicate their lives to “The Cause”. Regardless of societies pressure’s; telling them to put their picket signs down and join the local job force.

  • Mainstream Media has Victimized Our Minds Into Thinking of only Extremities.

Either you went to school and you work the “nine to five” plus occasional overtime. Or you are a whimsical emotionally driven human, who refuses to earn a proper living. All because you utilize your education to irritate, in hopes of reformation.

 

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We are constantly prapelled to respond to abominations and outcries of those mutilated, yet we can’t find the time to become a protester. Who constantly utilize their free time or prioritizes all of their time to better the world.

  • Under-Estimating The Importance Of Emotional Gratification, Incurred by Acting upon our desire to change the World.

Incomplete, our feelings when we suppress our innate urge to campaign and rally change.

 

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Feeling Stuck…

Symptoms of suppressed Desires:

  1. Anxiety
  2. Slight/Light depression
  3. Muscle tension
  4. Unsettled; mentally and physically. Feeling the need to busy yourself constantly resulting in empty feelings.
  • Positive Manifestations derived from the Evolution of Human Urges.

All human desires are not promiscuous/evil. Nor do they lead you away from normal operations in life.

Alleviation of our connate calling to reform the world into a better place causes:

 

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  1. Effective
  2. In control
  3. Efficient
  4. Influential
  5. Complete
  6. Empowered
  7. Enriched with awareness of life’s purpose emotions.

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Dazed

My mind is weighing me down.

Chocking my heart, causing me a stupendous amount of grief.

Leaving me stunned.

Far from amazed.

Trapping me in a thunderous haze

Its heavy, chocking, causing me to gage.

As I reach up and around hunting for a psychological inhaler.

Trying but just continuing to aspirate.

Joy, won’t you dwell in my heart and allow me to breathe?

Peace, manifest yourself in my bones.

 

My mind is so heavy.

My heart seems heavier than life.

Even though my heart and mind is life.

My mind controls my life.

So if my mind is heavy, my heart is an unwilling subject.

Following ever so closely.

Mimicking every thoughtless detail of my brain.

 

My heart sunken to its lowest depth.

Fighting to remember, focus on the serendipity feelings of life.

Shoving away and no longer dwelling on the past.

Allowing my mind to scurry towards my future.

My heart and mind once heavily chained.

 

How we got free?

We learned how to unchain this heart and mind.

Loose, yourself from mental suicide.

Assassination of our inner man

This is abuse and we need not aid in our own mental abuse.

 

Pain and Happiness

 

Daily Writing Prompt - Writers Write Creative Blog

So here I go again trying my hand at another writer prompt and my own Prompt me I dare you posts. I hope everyone enjoys, as I muster the words to edify literature of the name of the Twenty-first century.  🙂

 

…Pain

 

People try to Paint a reflection of Pain.

The color doesn’t exist.

Trying to compare blue to feelings, is beyond its untruth.

No one can come near the color of pain.

We know not of his hue.

His pigment can’t come through.

We have not enough light receptors within our eyes.

Not able to perceive its richness.

Pain is unreflective.

Hence his lack of hue.

Pain, you want me to write about the color of pain?

Pain is the color of our faces when relatives don’t return from war.

It’s also the indescribable accumulation bubbling deed in her chest when they tell her it was her fault. And is she sure she did not consent to his conquest?

Tell the doctor you can not number it either.

Scream out to society it’s not something that’s from without this things starts from within.

This silhouette of pain shrouds every one of us from fetus to the grave.

Gauging out our eyes and refusing light to come in.

Pain ain’t got no number so stop asking from 1-10.

Pain is a shadow that doesn’t know its place, He’s rude, knows no manners, and lets not his host retain a somber face.

Hey, watch out, he can make you bitter, unreasonable, indecisive, petty, and unattractive.

Guess what? None of those are colors.

No color wants to color his face.

Pain has not a color, hue, pigment, tint, and or fragment of a reflection for our eyes to pierce him in his face.

Thank God we know not of his hue because if we did He may look like you.

Like you, Me, Her, and Him. Pain might resemble us all.

Again, Thank God Pain ain’t got a hue.

 

 

 

Happiness

 

Neither bitter nor sweet.

Beautifully in between.

My taste buds have yet to arrive.

Deceitful, or better known as divine.

My taste buds have yet to arrive.

Potent and always compelling.

Dazzled, by its wonderful scent.

I was told about learning and knowing of this taste.

Yet happiness is not found in this place.

My taste buds have yet to arrive.

Come forth, I reach for this gentle taste.

Heavenly, no it’s eternal.

Relentless in its ways

I have yet to savor this taste.

 

 

This place in Time

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Have you ever craved a particular kind of music?

But can never find the style that meets your current feeling.

This is something new to me.

I’ve always known what song, what artist, and the exact tempo to play to coincide with my inside yearning.

But as of late, I can’t seem to find a song, artists, or genre to agree with my current space.

I am not a one genre kind of person

I mingle in pop, classical, rap, Rnb, Country, and jazz, Practically everything under the Sun.

But as of right now I struggle to find someone who matches my place in time.

I know tons of songs, but none seem to fit.

They don’t eas my mind and make me think “That’s it!”

I’ve reluctantly come to the conclusion that maybe I’ve grown to another frame of mind.

Including the oldies, all the way back to the twenties up until now.

Nothing, and I mean nothing soothes my soul.

It might be “when you know more, more is required of you” type of phenomenon.

Considering with this feeling came my desire to start my blog and start writing more.

As well as my personal decree to stop watching tv and many other idle things, and replace those moments in time with informative videos, and books.

This is what caused my spiral into watching TEDx talk videos about self-love, how to achieve your goals. I’ve listened to Malcolm Gladwell books, Read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.

Which, has revolutionized my daily expectations in my current life.

I now want more love from myself for myself as well as to others. I don’t want to live stereotypically vague. Working, searching for love, with an internal itch for something more out of my life.

In the moments of these feelings, I have times where I just have the urge to cry.

I don’t particularly think I have many reasons to cry.

I don’t believe myself to be pessimistic just realistic on my outlook on life.

Whatever the cause may be at least I think I know what the effect on myself is going to be.

A part of me does not want to completely leave what I have known and allowed to be my comfort.

But, then the other part of me knows that it will kill me if I never leave these things behind.

I will continue to lay in bed at night and negate the unwise things I let consume my time.

Which leads to my guilt of daily spending my time, resulting in me doing random things at night. Reading, schoolwork, Tedx videos, Research, all because I feel guilty about the things I don’t do in the day.

I want so much more from myself. And I can not wait for someone to come and hold my hand to guide me through this change. This is something that me, myself, and I, has to gird up myself and triumph through.

I know this may seem vague, but for those who understand. You as well should let go.

Let go of whatever you know is no longer good for you.

No matter how long it or they have been your source of comfort, your soul will continue to be dismayed.

I feel the beckoning to change, and I don’t want to criticize myself for not leaving these things behind. They are not the center of the universe. Let alone my world.

  • I will break free from this chain, even though its things that I have attached to myself.
  • I have engaged in my own persecution, mutilation, and subjugation. I knowingly submit myself to people and things.
  • I no longer want this in my life.

As of this moment in time, I am still unsure of the true meaning behind my inability to find music to my taste and be truly engaged in other idle things, tv shows, movies, and futile things, that doesn’t do me any good. I who call myself an adult, feel that I have to be entertained by primordial kinds of paraphernalia.

I’m learning to retrain myself to enjoy at all times things that are truly beneficial to my mind, body, life, and future. I no longer want to want tyrannical  ( pleasures) that are typical; teaching me nothing but how not to trust, bad stereotypical traits of men, women, other races, and even of my next of kin. Its no longer desirable, and I won’t succumb. Replacing them with profitable interests.

I felt that I was suppressing my desire to write, change my daily routine, and attributes of my life, which was a suppression of myself. Inside of this movement that I created, I hope it creates a stampede within myself. So that I will blitz towards truth and true betterment of myself and spirit. Which, will manifest in all aspects of my life.

This place in time.

 

 

Sensations got a hold on Me…..

Brings tears to my eyes

The Sun makes me feel encapsulatedthe sun makes me feel

Makes me crinkle my nose

Uncontrollable arch in my back

Caressing my skin down to my spine and back up again

Causing me to point my toes, a sensation beyond any other sensation my skin and soul has known

 

This Sun makes me feel lost while being at home

Tripping on words while trying to discuss this attraction I have to the Sun.

Dazed enough to be beguiled to gaze into its core

This Sun makes me feel like what ecstasy may feel.

Everything right, the perfect touch

Gliding up and down my thighs

This is the Sun

Damn near perfect

it’s a shame we can’t always embrace

 

Every blue moon, I yield to his call

Begging me to stay

Ravishing me in his rays

Causing a cry and internal moan

This sensation’s got a hold on me………